To you from me with bloodshot eyes

Before you get pregnant, no one ever tells you that once that little embryo comes into existence in your uterus, you’ll never sleep again. Yeah, not sleeping once the baby is born gets big press, but you never hear much about how having a baby inside you completely obliterates any chance you may have of getting a decent night’s rest ever again. But ah, once again, I apparently know nothing. Pregnancy is constantly pwning me with my absolute cluelessness.

I am beyond worn out. I haven’t had a decent night’s sleep in months, and I’m beginning to think that I never will again. I mean, it’s only going to get worse once Bebe comes. It’s a combination of several things. First, I have this belly filled with baby who seems to be on Korea time. She is awake and kicking at all hours. Despite the best efforts of Boppy, my body will never rest comfortably again. Bebe just kicks ALL THE TIME and while it’s sweet and nice to know that she’s active and growing, it’s (gasp!) annoying to be awoken in the middle of the night by her┬árendition of the Elaine dance.

Then there’s the constant peeing. I am so amazingly sick of peeing. I’ve written before about ridiculous pregnant women who relentlessly complain about having to go to the bathroom 25 times a day. Well, folks, karma’s a bitch and now I’m paying for my snide comments. Point taken, Universe. These days I’m getting up to go several times a night, which, you know, kind of disrupts any chance of me ever achieving REM sleep again.

Once I’m up from peeing, I take the opportunity to worry about any and everything going on in our lives, namely money and how the heck we’re going to swing the expenses of 2012 when Bebe comes. Worrying about money in the middle of the night is possibly the worst inclination I could have. It helps nothing whatsoever and it usually just leads me to have a panic attack, which, coupled with hormones, is all the more disturbing to both myself and B. Luckily, he is off work until next year so he doesn’t have to get up as early as he does when school’s in session, but it just can’t be fun for him to awaken in the middle of the night to the sounds of me sobbing because I’m exhausted and freaked out over the change that’s going to come in only three months (time flies, eh?).

To add insult to injury, we got a new bed and mattress over the summer and I just haven’t taken to it very well. It is an Ikea platform bed that doesn’t have a headboard and while I like the design, I always feel like I’m going to fall down behind it (even though this is 100% impossible given my girth at this point). It’s a lot taller than our old bed, too, so there is an actual risk of me falling off the side of it given how pregnantly clumsy I am these days.

Luckily we’re going to Memphis for the holidays, and I tend to be able to sleep extremely well at my mom’s house so hopefully that will offer a little reprieve from my nocturnal purgatory.

While we’re on the subject of traveling and the holidays, I am more than likely going to be posting only once a week or so until January. I like all y’all and everything, but I love having B home with me and want to relish these last months of just him and me. I’m really blessed to have a husband who loves spending time at home with me and my tummy as much as I love spending time with him.

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23 comments

  1. Get yourself a snoogle pillow. It’s a long S shaped thing and worked well for my wife. And just so you you know, the husband doesn’t get any sleep either

    1. I have this giant Boppy pillow that should be working but just isn’t; it’s not the pillow’s fault, it’s just that with the combination of all the other sleep hindrances it’s fighting an uphill battle to get me to rest. I feel bad for my hubs, but he’s a pretty sound sleeper so if he’s bothered by my lack of sleeping he’s not saying anything.

  2. You’re right. You will not sleep for a long, long time. I think there was a two year period when my son was about 9 and my daughter just 2 where everyone slept through the night. Then worry about my son crept in and our daughter was out of her crib, so she could come into our room whenever she wanted. Now, I’m having hot flashes, so back to no sleep. Sigh.

    Hang in there with the peeing. It actually gets worse before it gets better! Those first weeks after the baby came……

    1. My friend who has a four-month-old was just telling me the other day about what I have in store in the bathroom for after the baby arrives. Totally looking forward to it, now ;)

  3. Seriously! Why don’t they tell you this?! I am so exhausted I can barely form complete sentences anymore! And I am right there with you on the middle of the night panicking. This should also be added to that list of pregnancy side- effects that they don’t want you to know about. I am fairly certain that no one would ever do this if someone had told them that the nihht would no longer be a restful time, but chock-full of crazy!

    1. I guess not sleeping just isn’t as exciting as the topic of pooping during labor and throwing up all the time. Body fluids are just more exciting than not sleeping :P

  4. I agree with the Snoogle comment! I bought one in my 30th week and wished I had had it the whole time. It is awesome. I hope you get some rest.

    1. Thanks…maybe Santa will bring one to me if I ask real nicely!

  5. I totall hear you on the sleep thing. I have found that allowing extra hours for sleep doesn’t even help because my hips get sore and keep me up if I lay down for too long. I just can’t win.

    The bathroom thing is all too real for me also. I have actually been feeling guilty about the sheer quantity of toilet paper that I have been going through and the water I must be wasting by flushing the toilet so many times per day. Absolutely ridiculous.

    Hope you get some sleep in Memphis!

    1. Hahaha I’ve felt bad about the wastefulness of it too! But I will continue to flush because I think B is putting up with enough pregnant tomfoolery from me right now that I wouldn’t want him to lift the lid to see that kind of surprise. Oomph.

  6. I hate that part. Even when nothing else wakes me up, there are still three trips to the toilet to pee, on average. Add to that the 3am hot flashes, where I wake up in a pool of sweat and tear off my pajamas because the apartment has become a vestibule of hell (while my husband sleeps peacefully under a blanket), the baby trying to jab both feet through my diaphragm (ow!), and the middle-of-the-night nosebleeds, where I’m lucky if I get back to sleep at all, after sponging the blood spots out of the sheets and pillowcases– all of which are apparently normal pregnancy issues– and I am a complete zombie most of the time. What I wouldn’t give for 8 consecutive hours of sleep…

    So yeah, how is it that everyone tells you about the nausea and hemorrhoids, but they leave out the not-sleeping, the hot flashes, and the nosebleeds?

  7. When I could, an afternoon nap really helped me during third trimester. I was working, so naps were a weekend indulgence I looked forward to. Also, instead of fighting the insomnia, I’ve found that accepting it and reading a really dry, boring book helps sleep return or at least the snoring husband next to me more tolerable. When I’m staring into the darkness, wide-awake, his sleep can make the night bleaker and lonelier.

  8. Oh, my…I forgot about the peeing and more peeing. And fretting and more fretting. Deep breathing, exhaling all your worries, since you needn’t borrow worries that may not be in your future…and inhaling peace and assurance, since everything is going so well – and will be well. Repeat and relax. And, as a labor of love, count how many times you have to go to the bathroom – it’ll make a unique little factoid addition to Bebe’s baby book. :) ~~And thank you for cluing me in on linking in text!! Have a blast in Memphis – was just there in July – wonderful city.

  9. Amen, sista. At 35.5 weeks I seem to sleep 1-2 hours at a stretch and no more– I am too heavy for myself. I keep waking up because something hurts and then I have to pee and then the THINKING starts. Lovely.

  10. Yep…you’ll never sleep again…just lust after it. I had a dear old friend once tell me, “Once you have kids, you’ll not sleep through the night again until they are married,with kids and up all night.” As a mother of three Chickens…the oldest 4, I can promise you sleep will soon become elusive.

  11. Surprise, it doesn’t get easier when they grow up, and their needs sit on your mind 24/7. You cannot shut down the brain even went the body is past expiration.

  12. You know if we told you all the foibles of pregnancy you probably never would have done it. Not only that, why do you think MEN do not bear children? If they did, our race would be extinct.

    I will tell you this though…The moment you hold Bebe all of these inconveniences and pains will fade into the mist. They do come back when she is wailing at 0200 everyday, but at least for a few moments all is right with the world. With that solace you can face anything she kicks your way.

    {HUGZ}
    Red.

  13. Babies are nocturnal. This is unlikely to change for many months to come. Best thing is to learn to nap when baby does. Good luck, sweetie. I know you will be fine.

    Go! Be with your husband and have a great holiday.

  14. Great Writing :)

  15. I don’t want to get your hopes up but you may luck out. I had the worse pregnancy. I could not sleep. With two inside me I was in agony. I cried almost 3 months straight. But now that they are out. They actually sleep. Sure not for the first two months. But now they sleep every night from 11pm – 7 am. They even get up eat and then take a nap. Now I know this is not the norm but I will keep my fingers crossed that your Bebe is just as agreeable.

  16. Just try thinking up new blog topics. Tell yourself you can’t go to sleep until you think of what to post. You’ll be out like a light!

  17. They really should tell us about that. The sleep thing (or lack there of) really sucks! My sister told me that once you have a baby (she’s had four!) you never sleep soundly again. I remember thinking to myself – not me, I sleep through an alarm going off everyday for 30 min (Hubbie has to get up at 3:30am for work and he still hasn’t adjusted after five years)! Now I’ve kicked him out of the bedroom since Baby’s arrival and I still don’t get sound sleep! Hate to admit when sis is right though.

    Might I suggest, if you haven’t already picked it up, the book: No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley? Sis also suggested this (she actually gave it to me but I sold it in arrogant stupidity!). Might you not make the same mistake and actually READ it. It would have saved me a year’s worth of sleepless nights but by the time I put those wise words into practice, Babe was already too entrenched in bad sleep habits Mama had unwittingly created. I’m still paying for that mistake.

    Here’s to a better night’s rest in your near future! (Maybe mine too).

    Happy Holidays!

  18. Our sweet little admin in my dept where I work is due to give birth any day now. I’ve watched her over her pregnancy look more and more tired as the pregnancy progresses. I’m always tired (for entirely different reasons), but I still identify with that feeling; it’s a buzz kill to be so tired and have to report to work (pregnant or not!).

Now you can hold the magic talking stick.

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