Postscript Poem

Little girl, I love you so,

But you’re a crawling tornado.

You’re cute – it’s true – but underneath,

You have the mind of a devious thief.

I found my brush in the soup pot.

You put it there, you sneaky tot.

What is the appeal of the commode?

And why must you destroy our abode?

You are my sweet little daughter

Who tossed her paci in cold toilet water.

You were filled with joy and elation

Whilst gnawing our wedding invitation.

You’ve made our couch your teething ring

And you demand that I constantly sing.

You are but mere flesh and bones

But I cannot leave you alone.

For if I did for just a sec

You’d find a way to raise heck.

I put you in the cutest clothes

Onto which you blow your nose.

But I forgive you. See? It’s alright

Because at least you sleep through the night.

Who? Me?

Who? Me?

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65 comments

  1. You really should put together a book. In all seriousness. Emily’s Little Book of Verses. Only come up with a much cleverer name for it. :)

    1. Haha! That would be a lot of fun! Maybe some day ;)

  2. Sonia has that same shirt! And does all of the same things… lol Ahhh, babies.

    1. It’s funny you say that….on more than one occasion I have seen kiddos in other blogs I follow wearing clothes that C has!

  3. My favourite lines: “I put you in the cutest clothes/Onto which you blow your nose.” I laughed out loud :)

    1. It’s so true! She has a vendetta against the really cute stuff!

  4. This is completely awesome! I think you should make it a book a la Go the F To Sleep! :)

    1. Thanks! Maybe someday ;D

  5. Be glad she didn’t flush the toilet with the paci in it! We had to have the plumber here–again–because of a child (not ours, even!)–overloading the potty. Sigh.

    1. You just can’t win. If it’s not your kid, then it’s someone else’s.

  6. twindaddy · · Reply

    Haha. They look so innocent, don’t they? It’s all of devious ruse.

    1. They are tricky little things. The cuter they are, the more they get away with it.

      1. twindaddy · · Reply

        True. When I start counting to three when Baby C is doing something he’s not supposed to be doing, he starts counting for me. How am I supposed to punish him when he’s being cute like that? It’s not fair!

  7. Wow she turned on you real fast.

    1. I was compelled to give the whole story.

  8. C. sounds like my little Italian greyhound puppy do girl, Katherine Suzzette! However, Kate stays out of the bathroom and doesn’t make me sing to her. :)

    1. You just wait. She’s going to demand you sing the Ants Go Marching any day now.

      1. That’s out theme song. She hums it by herself. :)

  9. You nailed it with that last line. If they sleep through the night, everything else is cream cheese.

    1. WORD. Sleep is baby leverage.

  10. LOL!! I think she’s just getting warmed up!
    …could her eyes be any bigger or bluer? Good lord, Emily, she’s beautiful.

    1. Hehehe thanks. Her eyes look giant in this picture! I’m glad I caught them this once.

  11. What a sweet ode to Hurricane C!

    1. That is an excellent nickname for her (she crawled up to the computer and banged the keyboard right when I first started typing this.)

  12. harperfaulkner · · Reply

    Change
    You’d find a way to raise heck.
    to
    You’d find a way to raisin heck
    HF

    1. I’m glad I wrote that post for the sole reason (raisin) that I’m getting so many good puns out of you.

      1. harperfaulkner · · Reply

        I love how you feed me with great words and ideas! Keep it up! I can’t wait until you get to the terrible twos! HAHAHAHAHA HF

  13. Oh, those eyes! Those cheeks! Those mischievous hijinks! Just be glad she’s not using her own poo for wall artwork. Yet.

    1. “Yet” being the operative word there. Thanks, Carrie!

  14. Sweet little poochie! Are those HUGE eyes as innocent as they seem? Yet another one for Miss Cee to read, Em — your lovely words to her.

    1. She is definitely workin’ it with her eyes. She is also perfecting the one eyebrow raise. Hubba Hubba ;D

  15. She is beyond adorable. Way beyond!!

    1. Awww. thanks. She is fun.

  16. I think I enjoyed this sequel as much as Godfather II.

    1. Thanks. I felt like the last one needed a follow-up just to give the whole picture.

  17. Those baby blues! So sweet, lil C.

  18. Oh, yay, Emily, C sleeps through the night! The light at the end of tunnel has arrived!!

    1. She’s always been a really good sleeper. Thus, she can get away with whatever she wants.

  19. Love the poem, its very clever, something that beyond me. Btw, at least she blows her nose on her own clothes, Sophia prefers to wipe everything on us, including snoot.

    1. LOL I guess she’s sharing ;)

      1. That so wasn’t what I meant when I told her to share.

  20. She sleeps?! She can do no wrong.

  21. Sofa as teething ring! I smell bacon, I mean, marketing opp! :) Too cute, Emily–thanks for the smile!

    1. My pleasure! BTW she finally had chicken for the first time tonight so it’s only a matter of time until we move on to bacon bacon bacon BACON!

  22. *claps hands* YAY!

    1. I think these poems will become somewhat regular.

      1. like, more sappy ones, or more funny ones? I need to know if I need to go buy more tissues….

  23. A baby who sleeps through the night will never be traded.
    You can count the days like Cheerios.

    1. Hehehe you sure can ;) She’s a keeper.

  24. I constantly sing anyway. Ergo, I am more than equipped to deal with a child. All the other stuff you mention only happens once a month.. right?….

    1. Oh definitely. She usually makes me dinner too.

      1. Brilliant. Can I borrow her?

  25. Woah I think she grew a ton between poems. Is that possible?

    1. I totally wouldn’t be surprised. She grows like a mofo.

  26. Too cute :-) I also love it when they come to give you a hug and blow their nose on *your* cute clothes, the devious so-and-sos!

    1. They are adorable and totally gross.

  27. How did I miss this! Geez! I hope you show this to C when she’s old enough — love it!

    1. Oh. you know I will. Parents are experts at leverage.

  28. You’re absolutely right. If she sleeps through the night, everything else is a very fair trade-off!!

    1. I know, right?! As far as I’m concerned, I’d rather her sleep than go to an Ivy League school.

      1. My son started sleeping through the night-finally-at 15 months. And then stopped at 22 months. He’s 27 months now, and regularly gets up twice a night. Oh.My.God.

  29. Beautiful, Emily.
    Just beautiful.

  30. Cutie patootie!!

Now you can hold the magic talking stick.

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