Grover vs. Elmo: Gee, I Wonder Who’s Better?

I am all too aware that the amount of blogging I’m doing these days on Elmo-related topics is sad, so feel free to skip this one. Understand, however, that when you started reading my blog, you promised* to stick with me through good times and bad so abandoning me now is grounds for divorce.

*I am also aware that you never promised this, but I’m a young mother and it’s never too early to start my guilt training.

My life is Elmo now.

That and kitty cat picture emergencies. After breakfast today, C had an intense meltdown because all the kitty pictures on the Internet needed to be viewed by her posthaste.

On Friday when I went to Target to get C a heavily-discounted costume for next year, I selected an Elmo jumpsuit. Right now, you’re all, “Bad idea, lady, because the instant you spent your cash on that thing, you obliterated any chance of her being interested in Elmo a year from now.”

Yes, and your point?

It’s basically Elmo voodoo.

When you get good and cozy with Elmo like I have, you start to notice things. For instance, nowadays Elmo is all up in my face bragging about his quote-unquote moves.

Yeah, OK.

Children, gather ’round, and view Grover schooling everyone back in 1979.

Elmo, just stop. Grover was making the ladies swoon before you and I were even born. You can go home now, little red monster.

Grover, you can be my king anytime.

It appears I just came on to a Muppet. Welcome to the jungle.

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49 comments

  1. Don’t you freaking tell me you weren’t born in 1979. Just don’t say it, ok? I was dancing like Grover in 1979. Disco!!! It was way fun to go to a bar and actually do something besides stand around. By the way, I couldn’t listen to more than 5 seconds of the Elmo thing. I hate Elmo even more than the fact that I’m old enough to be your mother.

    1. That Elmo video is one of the worst. About thirty seconds in, Nicole Kidman comes out and does some sort of whimsical dance. It makes me barfy.

  2. No one but NO ONE has one up on Grover… but you knew that already.

    1. Grover is so amazing. I adore him. If it doesn’t work out between my husband and me, I am going to pursue him in a totally non-creepy way.

      1. I understand completely. Grover can do that to a woman.

  3. You know, I forgot how racy Sesame Street really was! Thanks for the reminder. ;)

    1. I know! But it was the swingin’ seventies. It was par for the course, even for children’s programming.

  4. Hysterical clip, seriously. Sesame Street is definitely different through an adults eye!

    1. It totally is! It’s kind of like watching Grease as an adult. You realize you missed most of the jokes and adult references the first time around.

  5. Huzzah for classic Sesame Street and the old-school Muppets! :)

  6. Elmo’s never done that much for me. I’ve always been more attracted to Grover and The Count.

    1. The Count actually imparts a valuable skill. Elmo just teaches you to refer to yourself in the third person. Well, that’s not weird. Not.At.All.

      1. No, it is just the way you want your children to communicate. For example, C:” cece will have a brownie now.” E: “Right away, Madam.”

  7. Twindaddy · · Reply

    I think I’ve seen every Elmo video on YouTube. Luckily, he’s moved on to Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. Yay?

    1. We have a DVD with all old Mickey Mouse cartoons on it. Definitely yay. So much better than Elmo.

      1. Twindaddy · · Reply

        Indeed. Thankfully, Baby C loves the old Disney cartoons. He’s been on a Chip and Dale kick recently, so we’ve been watching the chipmunks on repeat….repeatedly.

    1. Can you believe that I haven’t seen that movie? Travesty.

  8. BETTER THAN BARNEY! BETTER THAN BARNEY!!

    1. Do you mean The One Who Must Not Be Named?

  9. I didn’t even need to read this to know the correct answer is Grover (I did read this by the way). Grover hands-down. I have lived through Elmo. This too shall pass. And then your daughter will be on to something equally annoying and loud.

    1. I recently learned that Strawberry Shortcake has made a comeback (the cartoon, not the dessert.) I’m so glad that winner of a character has been resuscitated.

  10. We have a beautiful cat named Sasha who is the most precious thing in the world. One of my son’s pics of her has over 5,000 hits on Instagram. I will send you in email. :)

    1. Please do! C absolutely loves cat pictures!

      1. Check your inbox

  11. I’m not really into either of these dudes. You know my heart’s with Arthur. …And sometimes Buster.

    1. I once saw an organic gluten-free brownie mix with Buster’s face all over it, What’s not to love?

  12. Grover is my favorite ever. Sometimes he tweets, and I’m not ashamed to admit that Grover-tweets are why I signed up for a twitter account. :)

    1. Twitter handle please! I tried looking for it but could only find a parody account.

      1. He tweets properly through @SesameStreet, see this article for the cutest thing ever: http://www.wired.com/geekdad/2013/01/the-monster-at-the-end-of-this-tweet/

  13. Haha! Vintage SS. Grover is so much cooler.

    1. It is! BUT, there is a new skit where he works at a Starbucks. Hilarious.

  14. I love posts about Elmo. I live for them, really. ;) Grover is where it’s at though for sure.

    1. I’m glad I will always have an audience in you. These days I could blog about my hatred of Elmo every single day.

      1. Well, I’ll be your most loyal reader then. ;)

  15. I could only make it through 16 seconds of Elmo’s moves and 32 seconds of Grover. I guess that makes me a bad person or, more likely, old. My niece, Sweet Pea, was OBSESSED with Barney when she was a wee one. Now, at age 19, she laughs sadistically whenever her mother and I mention that torture in purple.

    1. That’s 10 seconds longer than any of the prisoners at Guantanamo could stand it, so I applaud you. You’ve got some mettle, V.

  16. I’m with Speaker. Elmo will too pass. Then it’s onto Dora. Then Strawberry Shortcake. Then My Little Pony. Then you’ll be begging her to watch Elmo again.

    1. What happened to My Little Pony? Last time I checked in on it I noticed that it had basically tramped itself up from when I was a little one.

  17. Grover is SOOO much better than Elmo….but having two children growing up with Sesame Street proved that Elmo is SOOOO much better at babysitting. I think it’s the high-pitched, mirror-breaking voice that attracts them. I can still hear the ‘Elmo’s World’ song in my head. Every. Single. Minute.

    1. That is really, really true. Elmo makes a really good babysitter. That is, until the kid licks the TV. Not speaking out of experience or anything.

  18. Being a parent is a wild ride, isn’t it?

    1. Understatement of the century ;)

      1. That’s what I was going for.

  19. Love the classic Sesame Street clip! I’m a sucker for nostalgia.

  20. Dare I say, I have never been an Elmo fan… Grover’s been my guy, since before you were born! Don’t hate me.

  21. Everyone knows Grover was supplanted by Elmo in an evil plot to bring coy inferiority to Sesame Street. We must prevent such injustices from ever occurring again – one Elmo is too many!

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