I am clearly not the only reluctant mommy blogger.

So, a couple weeks ago I started work on last Friday’s post, The Reluctant Mommy Blogger. I poured my heart into that post and laid bare some of my most private anxieties about parenting and the identity I’m assuming as a mother. It was easily one of the most cathartic, vulnerable posts I’ve ever written, and I am insanely overwhelmed with the love and understanding I’ve been receiving ever since it went up. Thank you, EVERYONE, who has left a comment, shared it, and emailed me with your thoughts on it. I will be answering each and every one of your messages, but please bear with me as I want to put as much thought into my replies as you all clearly put into your comments.

A want to give a special thank-you shoutout to Katia from I Am the Milk for suggesting my post to the editors at Freshly Pressed. It’s going to be featured later in the week. I’ve taken a ride on the Freshly Pressed roller coaster before, but this is by far the most pride I’ve ever taken from it. Friday’s post was one of the most honest and real pieces I’ve ever written and the fact that so many people are identifying with it gives me such a feeling of satisfaction. In the immortal words of Sally Fields, “You like me! You really, really like me!”

Parenting can be, at times, an incredibly isolating place where we think the world is slipping by us as we change another diaper, administer another time out, or shuttle our kids to yet another soccer practice. I am personally dreading the day when I have to teach Cee how to tie her shoes. I mean, seriously, how does one even do that? The Reluctant Mommy Blogger was all about those moments of isolation. But they are just that: moments. We all have the inclination to panic to some extent when we are going through a trying time in our lives, feeling as though we’re trapped in a static position of ennui that we’ll never escape from.

But Time has this really neat little tendency to move forward, and I firmly believe that even though we may get stuck in ruts, we’ll find our ways out if we actively search. Even though The Reluctant Mommy Blogger was a bit of a downer, it is not the whole picture. It was a snapshot of what my moments of ennui look like. With that it mind, there are a couple clarifications I want to make about some of the things I said in Friday’s post.

First and foremost, I am not dumping all over mommy blogs (ie, blogs that focus on family life and relay the details of that life.) There is nothing inherently evil about them. Unfortunately, somewhere along the way the term “mommy blog” picked up a negative connotation, and perhaps my post didn’t do a lot to rectify that connotation. I am, indeed, proud of my family and my writing. I’m honored that of all the other women in the world, I am the one who gets to be my daughter’s mom. The point of my post was to explain how when everything becomes about your family – even your writing – you can begin to feel like you’ve unintentionally redefined your entire identity without even thinking about it. I’m regrouping now, though. I own what I write. This is my life. If you want to call me a mommy blogger, I take it as a compliment.

Also, when I talked about the sense of self-loathing that I sometimes feel when I’m asked to explain what exactly I write about, I can see how it may seem like I’m not grateful for the successes I’ve enjoyed writing and blogging. I just want to reiterate that I am acutely aware of how lucky I’ve been to find my audience and to be a part of a writing and blogging community that understands me and continues to return. By the standards of some massive blogs, mine is still pretty small, but I am thankful for the exposure I’ve received and the ongoing support of the people who read my words. I sometimes struggle with self-confidence, but that’s my own problem to solve.

Again, thank you all so much for your continued support. Your Pop-Tarts are in the mail. ;D

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40 comments

  1. Congratulations! It was a great post and well deserved!

    1. Thanks, Suzie!

  2. Congrats on the Freshly Pressed. Well deserved!

    1. Thank you, Carrie!

  3. How exciting! It takes a special kind of bravery to pour out you soul and be honest with yourself. I’m so happy you got a warm response. Keep it coming!

    1. I agree! Thank you so much!

  4. Mmmm, Pop Tarts…. ;-)

    1. My thoughts exactly.

  5. It was a great post, and well-deserved to receive all the attention you’re getting! I think you’re “owning it” and, like most things, giving The Whole Ball of Wax an appropriate acknowledgement. In your writing, you relay that you are very grateful for your role, but there is an unbecoming (is that the right word?) portion of motherhood that does everyone good to recognize.

    1. I couldn’t have put it better myself. Parenthood is a pretty waxy business.

  6. Congrats again, Emily! Well-deserved! As you know, I am a reluctant mommy blogger as well and could NOT have said it more eloquently! Kudos! Xo!

    1. I TOTALLY had your blog tagline in mind when I was writing that thing. You are probably the best reluctant mommy blogger I know.

      1. Haha! Well thank you, lady! (Curtsy!)

  7. Soon they are going to start calling it “Freshly Emily’ed” ;)

    1. I need to go make that badge…

  8. unfetteredbs · · Reply

    It was a great post.. You deserve to be FP

    1. Thanks, Audra.

  9. LivingDeadGirl · · Reply

    Congrats on the FP, Emily! :)

    1. Thank you, LDG!

  10. Congrats on the FP. Well deserved. And, no other explanations necessary. :) I get it.

    1. Thanks. I’m glad you understand ;)

  11. Bravo Emily! You hit it out of the park with that post.

    1. Thank you! Now I want to play some actual baseball!

  12. Nicely put….you have no need to be under confident….obviously you love your subject….and get appreciated.Congrats for fp…

  13. Yay! :) Congrats, chica! :)

    1. Thank you! I’m pretty excited!

  14. Deanna Herrmann · · Reply

    Yay Emily! Congrats! It’s a great piece and deserves the attention.

  15. Yay Freshly Pressed !!!

  16. Oh I can so relate to that sense of being completely overwhelmed by someone else’s dependence on you in learning things like tying their shoes. That was perfectly put, as was your closing paragraph. Don’t worry, I don’t think anyone could perceive you as ungrateful and as for struggling with self confidence most of us do and can relate to that. Don’t feel like you have to “sterilize” your posts from that kind of thing.

    Finally, thanks so much for the shout out. It would have happened one way or the other. :-)

  17. First, congratulations on being in Freshly Pressed again. Second, I have one suggestion for the shoe-tying problem–shoes with Velcro fasteners! I found it invaluable. I do remember something about suggesting to the child that the loop is a “bunny”s ear” and something about “likening the lace through to knot it as “the bunny going into it’s burrow” or something like that. I gave in and bought shoes with Velcro. It must have been very popular with a lot of other parents also because those shoes were found everywhere.

  18. Frosted Blueberry for me please. Some day I hope to get to your level – love reading your stuff.

  19. That’s awesome. All of it.

  20. I appreciate how honest and brave your entries are. Congratulations on the success and (well deserved) recognition of your blog. It really inspires me to write more.

  21. Congrats!! From all the other reluctant mommy bloggers!! YAY!!

  22. Congrats!!! Enjoyed reading your post, as a mom myself too, of course!!!

  23. I definetly enjoyed your post. I am new to this (blogging) but not writing as I myself wanted to be a writer my entire life, I had children (first pregnancy, twins) when I was only 19 years old, I threw myself into a “stable career” as a restaurant manager for 6 years, changed my life around, became more focused on God, got accused of discrimination by a non-believer of God and found myself at home with nothing but time on my hands, and might I add, time that I didn’t want to spend with my children.

    In exploring the role(s) that we are as parents, I never imagined myself being anything else rather than mommy. Now that’s not without saying that I worked really hard to provide for my children by working (as a single parent) but when my children were born, with the exception of my college courses, I never wrote again.

    Now I am here.

    Wherever here is.

    But I am fighting to find Julian. The writer, the teacher, the mentor. Loves music, loves to dance (I’m totally not a good dancer), loves poetry, nature and foods that are not good for me.

    I loved your blog and it being one of the first ones I read, its so heartwarming to not feel completely like a horrible mother because you went into the bathroom and pretended to use it, just so you could have some freedom. :)

    I will follow and continue to follow, please follow back as to read some of my work. I would love to hear the feedback.

    -Julian

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