Tag Archives: horse ebooks

Fan Mail 2.0

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Housekeeping is good. It helps you run a better blog. I occasionally do little things for my blog to give it a manicure. For instance, every so often I take it to the mall and let it try on new layouts and themes. So far, I think it looks best the way it’s dressed, so all we’ve done is window shopped.

One of the fun little housekeeping activities I enjoy is answering frequently asked questions from my readers. It’s been awhile since I last did this, so let’s shake the cobwebs off the rugs and the ol’ spam widget today for a little Halloween cleaning, shall we?

To the spam mobile!

Dear Emily,

an proud of her for that. sensation the gentle impression ans and her As more gentle approaches. adequate feather was as notion nevertheless her go away the holy grail.
this can be carl, i stated around the command pass just now? i really like my rubbish.

- how to trade binary options

Really, Binary Options? You like your rubbish? To each his own, I suppose. Also, I’d like to introduce you to a little someone called Horse Ebooks.

Scategorically,

Emily

__________

Dear Emily,

Hi there, We’ve been to your blog a few times. I got word about it through my girl. I decided to post a comment. We like laughs; so We contemplated enjoying a new joke with you not to mention your visitors. A couple is lying in bed. The man says, “I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world” The woman says, “I’ll miss you.”

- A Joke

I’m thrilled that you finally decided to post a comment, A Joke. There are so many sleeper readers out there who read my blog but never say anything, so hopefully you will encourage others to take the chance. I am totally LOLing over your joke. Where’d you hear it? A joke book in the clearance bin at a bookstore at an outlet mall?

Yours in humor,

Emily

__________

Dear Emily,

could you improve your way of writing?

- bioloche

Probably, but since I write for free, this is likely as good as it’s ever going to get, Bioloche.

Stagnantly,

Emily

__________

Dear Emily,

please when you’re posting, do it carefully not to say the wrong thing.

-Casaemail

This is actually some really good advice, Casaemail. Just the other day I was sitting down to write a post about my seven month old baby. The words were coming. I mean, there was some real automatic writing going on here. But then, when I went back to read what I had written, I realized that the entire post was about carburetors and paper clips. Oops.

Thanks,

Emily

__________

Dear Emily,

I’m just writing to let you be aware of of the perfect experience our princess encountered browsing your webblog. She mastered a good number of pieces, not to mention what it is like to possess an amazing teaching nature to make the others just thoroughly grasp some hard to do topics. You truly exceeded readers’ desires. Many thanks for giving these warm and helpful, trusted, informative not to mention fun tips about the topic to Jane.

- Ugg Boots Australia

What what what WHAT!? You mean to tell me that Princess Jane is now reading my blog? I have arrived! Freshly Pressed, Smeshly Freshed! This is the preferred blog of her royal highness Jane, Princess of Ugg Boots Australia! Is there a badge I can put on my blog that touts this distinction? I’d love to put it up.

Your loyal subject,

Emily

__________

Dear Emily,

I seldom leave remarks, but i did some searching and woundup here Tales of the World: Get Naked | The Waiting.And I do have some questions for you if you tend not to mind.Is it just me or does it appear like some of the responses look like coming from
brain dead people? :-P And, if you are writing at other online socialsites, I’d like to follow everything fresh you have to post. Would you list of all of your shared pages like your Facebook page, twitter feed, or linkedin profile?

- 50 Shades of Grey

You are one to talk about brain dead people, 50 Shades of Grey. I mean, come on; the irony is just too delicious for me to not point this out. I did notice that Speaker7 commented on the jimjilbang post, so is this your retribution for her recraps? Really? Is this the best you can do? Sorry, but she has commented on my blog way more than you have so I am on her side. You have no ally in me, boo.

Yours,

Emily

******

Happy Halloween!

Related Awesomeness:

Fan Mail Volume I

Fan Mail

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One of my favorite things about blogging is the comments that my readers leave. There is nothing better than getting feedback from people all over the globe who are reading my blog! It often takes me just as long to answer all the comments as it did to write the post they refer to.

Today I’d like to spotlight some of the fantastic comments I’ve gotten in the last few weeks from my most devoted readers – spammers!

Dear Emily,

Nice, informative and educational post and the most interesting and informative post i’ve ever seen, so the post bookmarked my browser for future

-clau_dinha7

Wow, thanks, Clau. I’m really glad my post about entering Le Clown’s blogroll contest was so awesome that it became self-aware and actually added itself to your browser with no help from you. Also, I know that his blog can be a little esoteric, so whatever I can do to educate and inform you about him, I will do. I will be your Cliffsnotes to Le Clown.

Superlatively,

Emily

____________

Dear Emily,

Your website looks like an encyclopaedia that teaches us several things. 

-chel93

Chel93, thanks! I chose the Twenty Eleven theme primarily because it looks so much like a World Book. There’s nothing more useful than an encyclopedia that has two or three facts in it.

Stay cool,

Emily

____________

Dear Emily, 

I just want to say I am new to blogs and actually liked you’re web-site. Most likely I’m want to bookmark your website . You amazingly come with good well written articles. Bless you for sharing with us your webpage. -Meidinger20

Meidinger, you actually like me! You really actually like me! Thanks also for referring to my posts as articles. I’m want to agree. Do you think the New York Times would hire me to write some articles for them too?

The LORD be with you,

Emily

____________

Dear Emily,

hey there, i liked you blog, it is kinda good. keep up the work. 

-cintia.adrielle

Hey Cintia, I will take your “kinda good” and raise you a “not lackluster.”

Yours,

Emily

____________

Dear Emily,

with this i disagree. 

-cassiapais

Cassiapais, thank you for speaking up against my assertion that babies are absurd. My blog would be nothing if it weren’t for folks like you who like to challenge my narrow-mindedness. Would you be willing to expound on why you disagree with me? I’d really like to have a mudslinging fest in the comments section, like on the Yahoo! message boards.

Amicably,

Emily

____________

Dear Emily,

I liked reading your submit. I have got to admit it was the very first content on your weblog I genuinely liked and where I had a feeling of understanding, know what I mean? Anyhow, maintain the posting and I’m going to be back again. 

-Wintz36674

I know EXACTLY what you mean, Wintz. Thanks for not giving up on me and finally finding a submit on my weblog that you genuinely liked. I can’t stand it when people press “like” with no feeling.

Maintaining the posting,

Emily

____________

Dear Emily,

this website is better than anyone else’s.

- carolinebeckbu

Caroline, I know, right!? I’m surprised Mark Zuckerberg got a movie about his life before I did.

Wuv,

Emily

____________

Dear Emily, 

Hi, I’m 15. I have 5″ (i think you understand). Should I buy Viagra to make it longer? 

-lindavmontoya

Say no more, Linda; I completely understand. Since I have been to the OBGYN a bunch of times in the past year, I am TOTALLY qualified to field your question. I have a couple concerns. First of all, you have a female name, so I’m worried that those 5″ inches of girth between your legs may actually be a tail. You may want to have that checked out. If in fact it is not a tail, definitely take Viagra. Aiding in the manhood of teenage boys is the exact use Pfizer intends.

Sincerely,

Dr. Emily

____________

Dear Emily,

Good site! I truly love how it is easy on my eyes and the data are well written. I am wondering how I might be notified whenever a new post has been made. I have subscribed to your feed which must do the trick! Have a nice day! 

-Harnist7315

Harnist, yes! Pushing the “subscribe” button will definitely do the trick in subscribing to my blog. Your deductive reasoning stands out. I think it’s time for you to try out for Jeopardy.

Friends Forever,

Emily

____________

Dear Emily,

A lot of thanks for all of your effort on this web site. Debby takes pleasure in making time for internet research and it’s easy to understand why. Most of us mbt shoes outlet store

-Petersen

OOOH I love a great code, Petersen! Pizzas are great for whistling in the wind, and Marjorie was disappointed with crash to be released. Let s zoom in and take a sneak peek at this mavellous

Worms,

Emyil

____________

Dear Emily,

beleave it or not this site wont get you any cash i learned it the hard way . You Probably heard of this “Offline Netspace thing” (not in BLogging) . I know Blogging is not bad if you are a great writer but wont it be better if you make 10x , 20x or maybe 50x more ! i cant give you all info here , if you are interrested join me here NOBODYSDEAD.COM feel free to contact me  

-Soukkhavong

Soukkhavong, thank you so much for your generous invitation to contact you! Please tell me more about the trials you had to endure to determine that your blog wouldn’t get you any cash. I had a feeling my blog was lying to me when it told me it would turn a profit, and I just want to compare my experience against yours. Since I am such a great writer, BLogging is definitely not bad, but I would like to earn 50X more than nothing. My profits for the first year will be through the roof! Let’s see, 0×50=0. Well, since I’m such a great writer, my mathematical skills are lacking. I’m sure you can help me earn my millions.

Let’s get down to it,

Emily

*****

Have you checked out Canadica yet? It’s what you get when you stuff Canadian bacon into a cherry pie.

*****

One more PS. This. Just this. I can’t even.

#SomeNotesOnTwitter

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So, I have a Twitter account. As with most things technological, it took me awhile to get one. I got in on Facebook a couple of years after I first heard it existed and I started a blog about eight years after hearing about “online web logs”. Of course, I signed up for Google+ pretty much the instant it came into being and bragged all over my Facebook about how awesome and cutting edge I was. Yeah, we can now all see how what a great predictor of online social media trends I was with that one.

Anyway, I like Twitter, primarily because I only follow about eight people I know from real life. I learned my lesson about being a friend whore on Facebook and accepting all friend requests and issuing requests to everyone I’ve ever been within 100 feet of. I applied those lessons to my foray into Twitterdom, so now when I log in, I am not asked to pray for someone’s routine colonoscopy or feign interest in someone completing a 5K. I don’t have to look at pictures of the beer someone is drinking or a someecards post I saw like eight months ago unless I actually click on the link. These are all upsides of Twitter.

Wow, thank you so much for sharing with me proof that you have a sense of humor. I was just pondering the other day if you still have a biting sense of irony, and now that you posted 7 someecards in a row on Facebook, I’m thrilled to see that you do.

Another great thing I’ve found about Twitter is that people tend to feel as though they have to work harder. A lot of people complain that Twitter is annoying because people edit themselves even less than they do on Facebook, but I haven’t really found that to be true. I follow people who appear to be mildly humorous or are aware of their insanity and milk it for all it’s worth. Perhaps it’s because I mostly follow people whose accounts are an extension of their blogs and celebrities who have to be funny or ridiculous to make a living, but people will put any old garbage up on Facebook but on Twitter you have to be terse and clever (@becomingcliche, @themainlandblog, @expletivebaby). Or just insane (@josecanseco) or bizarre (@horse_ebooks, @MAID001). If you are looney, Twitter is for you.

If you come away with anything from this blog post, I hope and pray it is to follow @horse_ebooks.

Nearly everyone famous has a Twitter account now. Unfortunately many have obviously been set up by their publicist. I follow Burt Wolf (@BurtWolf) and Woody Allen (@WoodyAllen) but Woody Allen has only tweeted twelve times and Burt absolutely never. In Burt Wolf’s case this is hilarious because he still has 75 followers, me among them. I only have like 90 followers and I’ve tweeted almost 500 times. It’s a shame that Woody Allen doesn’t tweet more often because he’s awesome. I guess it’s my own fault for following old men.

I miss you.

But then there are the accounts that should tweet but don’t. Case in point: @homestarrunner. Remember how funny that website was? I get it if they don’t have time to make cartoons anymore, but seriously, how difficult is it to occasionally compose a tweet in the voice of Strong Bad? Not hard. Get on that, Brothers Chaps.

There are the little gems of Twitter that make me happy every time I log on. Following LeVar Burton (@levarburton) has been possibly the best choices I have ever made, social networking-wise. Know why LeVar Burton is awesome? Because he gets his own nostalgia factor. I’m not a Star Trek person or anything, but I was a viewer of PBS in the mid-80s, so whenever I read his tweets I always tack on “but you don’t have to take my word for it” at the end, thus inducing Reading Rainbow warm fuzzies.

Judging by his tweets, LeVar was as awesome as I suspected when I was five.

I will likely send out a tweet to notify my followers of the publication of this blog shortly after I publish it. How meta is that? Tweeting about Twitter.

I’m so modern I can hardly stand it.