Saturdays at Mimi’s

On January 16, 1982, a Mimi was born. A fancy grandmother.

Was Mimi ever not a fancy grandmother? How did she exist before her first grandchild came into the world? Who did she make chocolate pudding with the skin on top for before that day? Who did she talk about at Garden Club and Birthday Club meetings? Who did she smell good for?

She had a life before she was a Mimi. By the time you met her, she had already had her heart broken and shredded. You would later on learn about her little girl who died before her seventh birthday. You’d see Marla’s grave marker with a pleasant patena all over it next to her father’s – the grandfather you never met. A young widow. You would rarely hear Mimi talk about them. Her own childhood was far enough away for her to be a bit more candid. You wish you had listened closer. You listened when she talked about working at Oak Ridge but you didn’t really get the full weight of her job there.

But in 1982, those things were in the past and Mimi was not yet aware of all the heartache that was still to come. But that was OK. She had been too busy preparing her dusty peach castle for your arrival. It was your playground. You didn’t have to be told not to touch the artifacts surrounding you in her house; it was obvious that they were just to be observed and admired. She had married again – a grocery store proprietor – who built her a home at your disposal. You played in the Venus di Milo fountain in her backyard and pulled the paper off her birch tree, even when she told you doing so would kill it. Mimi’s trees were for pulling apart. You slept in the pink guest room which Mimi called The Princess Room, and the nearly inaudible click of the light on the security box in the room lulled you to sleep.

In the fountain

In the fountain

She had a cleaning lady named Cather who prepared her home for your family’s late afternoon summer barbeques. Cather came to Mimi’s funeral and your dad treated her like family, and it wasn’t just because they had both cried that day. Cather would clean while Mimi prepared the food. A platter full of tomatoes, lettuce leaves, and big thick circles of raw, sweet Vidalia onions all piled up on a plate to garnish the burgers. On an outside buffet table – an outside buffet table! – the garnishes went where Mimi deposited them under a tiny mesh umbrella to keep the flies away.

You made a note to use the food umbrellas later for a tent for Barbie.

As the adults skittered around and made the food, you made yourself a beverage. There were several choices at Mimi’s house: Diet Pepsi, Diet Pepsi, and Diet Pepsi. There was also La Croix seltzer water but you learned the first time you tried those things that the bottle was just kidding when it said it was flavored like strawberries. So, Diet Pepsi it was. You took the glass bottle from the kitchen pantry to prepare the drinks in Mimi’s living room bar. The bar, which was set in an alcove and could be closed up with sliding doors, had recessed lighting and glass shelves. It housed an icemaker and Mimi’s collection of swizzle sticks from around the globe. The more swizzle sticks you put in your drink, the better it tasted. That’s just commonsense.

The ones with little Peabody ducks at the end were the most medicinal, so after you made yourself a Diet Pepsi, you returned to the bar with Mimi’s Teddy Ruxpin, which she had acquired for your enjoyment at a silent auction at a Summit Club fundraiser. There was always something wrong with that Teddy Ruxpin. His tape never synched up with his mouth, which required him to go to the doctor, have his tan outer vest removed  and swizzle sticks inserted in all his orifices.

Just as the operation was about to take place, the meal was ready: hamburgers and slaw and potato salad that you likely wouldn’t eat. Mimi only put yellow mustard, onions, and lettuce on her sandwich, an oddity you wrote off as a function of her relative oldness. She was too fancy for ketchup with that word on its bottle.

You mulled over your plan to stay the night. Staying the night at Mimi’s was the best because she let you do what she did. There were no pre-planned child activities for your visits. If you were flying solo then she’d take you down the street to Wendy’s and get a taco salad for dinner. Later, you both got into your jammies, popped a bag of popcorn, and watched The Golden Girls. Mimi would smoke a cigarette or two while you both giggled at the whimsy of Betty White. No matter that you had no idea what was going on. The Golden Girls were the Mimi equivalent of watching Grease at your house: likely too inappropriate for a seven-year-old but oh what the heck.

When the popcorn was dwindling and the night’s episode of Evening Shade wasn’t featuring the funny southern nurse, you retired to your princess room and asked Mimi to read Eloise to you. Eloise was Mimi’s favorite book that she read to you at night that wasn’t Danielle Steel. Not that she read Danielle Steel to you; she had boundaries. Curled up next to you, Mimi would show you New York through the eyes of a precocious six-year-old. Mimi did not manufacture a child sing-song voice as she read. As far as you knew, Eloise spoke with the same tone as a 62-year-old woman, and although the book does not feature a great deal of punctuation, Mimi’s rhythm always slipped a period in. She knew the exact right moments to pause for effect and which exact part you should skip. Hint: it’s the part that involves singing. Mimi didn’t sing much if she knew she would be heard. Church didn’t count because her voice was incorporated among all the other voices. She still went to the early service just to be sure she wouldn’t suffer overexposure.

Out went the light and off Mimi went down the long hall to her room, leaving a lovely smell of cold cream and perfume in her wake. You buried your head in the down pillows and felt like Annie during her first moments at Oliver Warbuck’s home. Mimi really was yours and you wouldn’t have to go through the formality of a feature-length film to know that the safety and security you felt in your fancy Mimi could only be hinted at with the click click of the room monitor.

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I said I wouldn’t blog on Christmas.

But here I am. I think there was something about driving down Park and slowing when I approached Holy Rosary because the extra Christmas Eve traffic and their street parking required it. The gleaming golden doors caught my eye the way they always do when I’m in Memphis. A family made their way through the doors to celebrate the Eucharist this late afternoon on the eve of Christmas.

The mother of the family was dressed in a black wool knee-length frock, its quietness underlying the festive air I had just experienced at Whole Foods, where Shiner was on special. It’s all so East Memphis, in a way that I cannot pinpoint and describe without getting nostalgic about my hometown. At some point, I gave up my proclivity to scorn this place. And the thing is, so did B, which is more miraculous than you could know. We both grew up here and bonded in college over the disdain we felt for the nicety-cloaked Jim Crow mentality and our desire to just get away.

But here we are. We walked up and down Tall Trees this afternoon with C. B recollected his stories of the inhabitants of the homes we passed and we mused over how much the houses cost. And we weren’t joking.

At some point I wanted to move back here. This place is somehow mine, as much as I trash talk it. Enough time has elapsed since I lived here that I see it with fresh eyes – the eyes of a parent who just wants one place. One place.

Today has been draped with sentimentality. It’s overcast and cool and I’m tired from sleeping in beds that aren’t my own. The baby has met people who I adore and I finally feel like I’m able to check off things on her life to-do list. So maybe that’s why I’m wanting this place. Maybe it’s because it’s Christmas and my desire to wrap myself in that East Memphis religion is hitting me right in my heart.

I don’t know. But I do know that it all stems back to the Waiting. I don’t know what I’m waiting for, but that’s OK. I’ll let you know when I find it.

Merry Christmas to you and yours. May you all find what you’re looking for this holiday.

To the Wayfaring Bloggers

I follow what, to me, seems like a lot of blogs. The blogs I love, I love a lot, and this is probably because I can actually form a relationship with the people who write them by coming to appreciate their talents as writers and people. I don’t really follow the behemoth blogs like Dooce* because it’s difficult to strike up a rapport with a blogger whose readership totals the same population as the EU. That’s just me, though.

*And the thing is that I think I could make a good friend for Dooce. We both grew up in the suburbs of Memphis. I mean, I get her.

So I notice when bloggers go missing. I start to get nervous.

“What happened to ***? Did her evil boss finally do her in? Shall we release the hounds?”

“I need a laugh about sorority life. So where’s ***? Spring Break has got to be over with by now.”

I can't Google these on my own. I need your filter, o lolcats blogger.

It goes on. I get fixated on these bloggers’ unannounced hiatuses. I forgive them, because y’know, life gets in the way sometimes of documenting new low-sodium recipes, posting pictures of LOLcatz, and detailing the pains of dental work. I get it. I’m guilty of it too.

But seriously, guys, just phone home every so often. I’m your weird Internet mommy who wants to know you’re alive. Just check in. Please? Pweese?

How I Spent My Shower Vacation: Part Three

Sunday night’s sleep was choppy, to say the least. My brother Trevor and I both went to sleep with the knowledge that our mom’s night was going to be a lot rougher than ours, though, what with her spending the night in the hospital. Monday morning we got ourselves together and headed over to the hospital again. She looked good, considering the *fun* of the day before, but obviously she was tired and HUNGRY, having been put on a clear liquids diet. We are a Sprite family, but you can only take so much after awhile.

The doctor had made his rounds after we had left the night before, and although they’d have to run some tests to confirm an exact diagnosis, he suspected as she did that it was diverticulitis or colitis. MAJOR sigh of relief that it wasn’t something really serious. But still,  a downer because the doctor wasn’t planning on letting her go that day.

At the Pink Palace

Trevor had already planned on taking the day off of work that day and hanging out with me, so we decided to go to the Pink Palace Museum, a place where we had spent countless hours growing up in Memphis. It’s essentially a Mid South history museum housed in a mansion that was built by the founder of Piggly Wiggly grocery stores. He never actually lived in it, though, because he went bankrupt before it was completed.

I love this place because so little has changed there from when I was a kid. There’s still a pair of Civil War-era mannequins, one getting his leg amputated on the battle field by the other. Morbid and awesome. There’s still an incredible handmade model of a circus that comes to life once a day. There’s still a shrunken head. There’s still a true-to-size triceratops named Rollo, but he’s gotten so old that you can no longer insert a quarter and have him stomp and grunt.

Rollo

:(

Most of the Pink Palace still has that great 80s, PBS-ish feel to it, but it’s not rundown or sad in any way. It just makes me feel safe.

I was dragging, so after Mexican food at Cafe Ole, Trev and I headed back home to rest. Well, for ME to rest; Trevor went to the gym. My brother is massively health-conscious and spends more hours working out each week than I probably do in an entire non-pregnant month. He’s in amazing shape and it never ceases to amaze me that someone who I’m related to is capable of being as buff as he is.

I checked in with my mom later that afternoon and even though she was in a state of ennui due to her immobility and Spriet (“Sprite Diet”, get it?! HAR HAR HAR), she was feeling better and optimistic that she’d get to go home the next day (which, in an effort to not keep you hanging on too much longer, she DID.)

Me and Jaye, circa July 1982

For dinner, Trevor and I met our aunt Jaye and cousin Maddie at Macaroni Grill. Let me just tell you how much I freaking LOVE being related to these two ladies. Kinship is a very real thing when it comes to us, so spending any amount of time with them is a treasure. Maddie was born when I was right around the same age that Jaye was when I was born, so I’ve been able to ponder in amazement at how Maddie is growing up. It blows my mind that she’s about to be twelve. I guess this is what happens when kids grow up so I’d better buckle up for the ride that Bebe will take us on.

Me, Maddie, and Trev

The day wiped me out. And I still had a freaking job interview the next day. Whee……