Tag Archives: moving

Some thoughts for Friday. Because it’s Friday already. I know, I’m shocked too.

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This is another installment in the “Emily doesn’t really have a theme to her blog right now but that’s OK” series. In related news, I am enjoying my relaxed hold on blogging. Treating this space more like the diary I originally intended it to be feels right. I am, however, working on a piece on one of my favorite books from when I was a kid. It should be a bit more topical. I’m excited! Really!

So the jobs. B and I have been waffling over whether our decision to quit his job and move this year is still a good idea. And for today, at least, it is. A deal is in the works to sell off our portion of some family real estate. The idea is not to live off the money that we would gain from selling it but instead to put it towards helping B’s mom purchase her home, which we would eventually inherit outright. This is a long term plan and I’m not entirely sure how it fits into our present situation, but it all seems to be related in that even if he can’t find a teaching job for the Fall right away, we would at least have a place to live while he continues to search. All will be OK. I’m learning that. Granted, I’m learning it by waking several times in the night and worrying for good measure. But the panic attacks are few and far between.

I was reading a post that Lisa wrote recently about the new year. She was talking about the things that she wanted to leave behind in 2012. (Side note: I loved 2012 because it was The Year of C but I could do without everything else. The Sandy Hook tragedy alone cancelled out any positive feeling I could have mustered for the year. I’m still sick when I think about it, especially since the NRA is being so predictably horrible in their response.) Anyhoo, Lisa is basically my Blogga Mama and I am going to be sticking by her side as she confronts a host of challenges this year. Her post made me think about the New Years post I wrote at the beginning of last year, and how my values and mindset have changed. As I read it back, I see a pregnant woman who has no idea of all that is coming. I’m glad that 2012 was a year of personal growth for me. I suspect that 2013 will be the same, and while I fear the challenges that are coming, I relish the opportunity to give my family the best of me. I can only become that person by putting myself through the fire and refusing to worry about things that are so transitory.

So if you pray, say one for us. It doesn’t have to be long or ornate. I don’t think God minds if your words aren’t all King Jamesian. There’s one job in particular that I’m thinking specifically about that may or may not make B into the coworker of one of my favorite people on The WordPress. So for the posts that would come out of that situation alone, keep us in your hearts.

Here Comes the Fun

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And by “fun”, I mean tedium, stress, fear, and general grown-up time.

Those who have been following my blog for awhile know that B and I have been less-than-thrilled with where we live and his job since we moved back from Korea. He is an English instructor at a community college in an economically depressed rural area in the South. His job itself isn’t bad, but he commutes from the bigger town where we live to his work each day. We only have one car, so that limits the possibilities of what I can do with C each day. There is almost no chance of professional mobility in his school. There are some instructors who have been teaching the same thing for 35 years with no raises outside of the ones that make up for inflation.

We want to leave. We want to live in a place where we have options and where we can settle for good. We thought about leaving earlier this year, but with C coming, it was just too much to think about B quitting his job, (hopefully) getting a new one, and moving with our first child who would then be an infant. So we stayed. I think it was a good choice, but still. It’s time to think about next year, again.

It’s not just a matter of quitting and finding a job. B’s school gives him a contract in January for the fall semester, which he must sign or not sign. Here’s the rub: very, very few community colleges post new openings that early in the year, much less hire people. So basically, he has to make the decision to not sign the thing before he even has a new job lined up. This prospect was scary before we had a child, but now it’s even more daunting.

But we’re doing it. We can’t stay here any more. The longer we stay where we are, the harder it’s going to be to move later. Also, we need to move somewhere where there are employment opportunities for me, since we are unable to save any money in our current situation. I’d like to work part time, but any money I’d make from doing that would go directly towards care for C, so living closer to friends and family in Memphis is something we hope for. B is not limiting himself to teaching, since he makes next to peanuts being a instructor. He’s going to look for jobs outside teaching, but I fear that it will be a tremendous waste of time since the economy is so bad and people with experience are not even getting hired. I’m just being realistic here.

This all exhausts me just to think about it. I’ve known it’s been coming for awhile, but this year has flown by so quickly with C that it just occurred to me last week that all this mess is on the horizon. It’s scary to think about moving on without even knowing if he’s going to find a better job, but I guess this is just life.

I have been thinking about writing this post for awhile. Every time I sat down to do it, though, I bummed myself out a lot because I knew I would bum you out too. My posts here tend to be on the lighter side. Also, more and more these days I’m becoming more guarded. This is likely because I have a child now and I’m hesitant to share some of the not-so-fun stuff in our lives simply because it may affect her. I don’t even know how it would affect her, but it’s a fear I have. I simply hate being vulnerable and I don’t want her to be vulnerable too. I hate admitting that things are hard, and I hate asking for help.

But this is my life. Things are not always fun. They are not always easy. I wouldn’t be authentic to myself if I didn’t admit that this was going on. I also wouldn’t be doing any service to myself or my family by leaving stones unturned and avoiding asking for help. I guess that’s the thing about making babies: when you have them, you need to get over yourself and just do what you need to do to give them the best life they can have.

So I just ask you for your thoughts and prayers through all this. And hey, if you know of anything, please don’t be shy in telling us about it. Although I loves me some image macros, I think this is what the Internet is for.

On the Road Again?

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"The old highway's a-callin'. Gotta move on."

So, awhile back I wrote about our urge to move back to Korea. B and I were missing it at the time and thinking about the risks and benefits of going back next year after Bebe is born. Well, we’re still thinking about it, still missing it, and still not loving where we’re living right now.

Just to get you a little up to speed, we left Korea in March of this year after living there for two years, came back to the US, and moved to eastern North Carolina in July after B got a job teaching English at a community college nearby.

If we didn’t have our little Bebe coming and if my belly weren’t rounding so pleasantly that all who behold me can’t help but coo, we probably definitely would be a lot more disgruntled in our present situation. B’s job is far from fulfilling and it’s hard for him to not compare his students now with his students in Korea. About 50% of his current students are openly scamming the government for student loans. When they do come to class, they behave like ridiculous fourteen-year-olds. The students who actually make an effort to learn have been so massively failed by the American public school system that much of B’s time with them is spent not in activities that could possibly give them a professional edge, but in trying to convince them that even if it sounds correct to write, “We is going to the store”, it is, in fact, very incorrect. A lot of the time they don’t believe him.

If you’d like to know the other thirty-four and a half reasons why we want to move somewhere else, I would be more than happy to tell you. I’d list them all here on the blog in David Letterman fashion, but I don’t think that’s what all the writing tip blogs have in mind when they instruct you to create lists to attract readers. Correct me if I’m wrong, but that’s more personal journal fodder.

SO. We have to decide in January if B is going to renew his contract for the 2012-2013 school year. Although we waffle on a weekly basis on what decision we’re going to make, most of the time we end conversations with the sentiment that we will leave, and then we make lists of what we can be doing now to make it happen.

Trust me, I know it’s risky. We WILL have an infant. I know. But here’s the thing: we may be naive, but our naivete is at least slightly informed. We’ve done a lot of stuff way more risky than this before (it’s hard to believe, but we have) and come out alive.

But we’re not set on Korea. We’re looking at about twenty-five other cities in America where we would like to live. City is the operative word here; not to knock rural life or anything as I know it has its merits, but B and I both have degrees and professional backgrounds that lend themselves better to more densely-populated areas. Plus we just like living around big hunks of concrete.

Now, here’s our top five list of cities we’re heavily investigating. That’s more like the lists they tell you to write, eh?

1. Chicago (Cue Sufjan Stevens) I mean, obviously. We lived there before, loved it, and miss it almost as much as we miss Seoul. I effing love Chicago.

The view from the front steps of the Art Institute, one of my favorite spaces ever

2. San Francisco I know my best friend Cameron would kind of want to kill us a little for moving there RIGHT after she left the Bay Area for Pasadena after living in Berkeley for nearly seven years, but how can you blame someone for wanting to be in San Francisco? And BART is not so bad.

San Francisco, California

3. Raleigh, North Carolina This one is kind of a no-brainer, too. Raleigh is the closest city to where we’re living now and would be an ideal move for us. It’s a beautiful city.

At the North Carolina Museum of Art

4. Minneapolis/ St. Paul, Minnesota Maybe we’re freaks because we like the idea of being frozen during the winter, but that’s probably just in retaliation against our southern childhoods when snow was legendary yet lackluster when it did make an appearance. Many of our fellow foreigner friends in Korea were from the Twin Cities, and whenever we waxed poetic about our Chicago days, they advised us to look into this area. If it’s good enough for Mary Tyler Moore, it’s good enough for me.

Minneapolis, Minnesota

5. Atlanta Whenever we go to Atlanta, B and I are always struck with how easily we could picture ourselves there. It’s a cool southern metropolis. And like Raleigh, it wouldn’t be a difficult move for us since it’s relatively close by.

Atlanta, Georgia

That’s our top five for now. Now, here’s your chance to be a cheerleader for your city/country and convince me of its awesomeness. And we’re not limited to the US. Maybe we’ll end up being real-life friends if I someday find myself there. :D