Dear Facebook Friends,
You are not Jimmy Fallon. Please stop writing “pithy” and “pointed” requests to inanimate objects.
Love,
Emily
****
Dear Facebook Friends,
The USPS is in enough trouble. Kindly mail your stupid letters to the intended recipients rather than spray them to everyone you know.
Love,
Emily
****
Real post later today.
The Waiting 
Wouldn’t this make more sense on your Wall? (and this where that smile-y or wink-y emoticon thing-y would go).
Then again, I’m not on Facebook (gasp!) so I have no idea what you must be going through.
Carry on.
I don’t want to feed the monster (insert emoticon) .
I do this from time to time. *hides face in shame*
Haha from time to time it’s amusing because then it’s actually humorous. It’s when it’s several times a day that I start blocking people’s updates :)