So, I have a Twitter account. As with most things technological, it took me awhile to get one. I got in on Facebook a couple of years after I first heard it existed and I started a blog about eight years after hearing about “online web logs”. Of course, I signed up for Google+ pretty much the instant it came into being and bragged all over my Facebook about how awesome and cutting edge I was. Yeah, we can now all see how what a great predictor of online social media trends I was with that one.

Anyway, I like Twitter, primarily because I only follow about eight people I know from real life. I learned my lesson about being a friend whore on Facebook and accepting all friend requests and issuing requests to everyone I’ve ever been within 100 feet of. I applied those lessons to my foray into Twitterdom, so now when I log in, I am not asked to pray for someone’s routine colonoscopy or feign interest in someone completing a 5K. I don’t have to look at pictures of the beer someone is drinking or a someecards post I saw like eight months ago unless I actually click on the link. These are all upsides of Twitter.

Wow, thank you so much for sharing with me proof that you have a sense of humor. I was just pondering the other day if you still have a biting sense of irony, and now that you posted 7 someecards in a row on Facebook, I’m thrilled to see that you do.

Another great thing I’ve found about Twitter is that people tend to feel as though they have to work harder. A lot of people complain that Twitter is annoying because people edit themselves even less than they do on Facebook, but I haven’t really found that to be true. I follow people who appear to be mildly humorous or are aware of their insanity and milk it for all it’s worth. Perhaps it’s because I mostly follow people whose accounts are an extension of their blogs and celebrities who have to be funny or ridiculous to make a living, but people will put any old garbage up on Facebook but on Twitter you have to be terse and clever (@becomingcliche, @themainlandblog, @expletivebaby). Or just insane (@josecanseco) or bizarre (@horse_ebooks, @MAID001). If you are looney, Twitter is for you.

If you come away with anything from this blog post, I hope and pray it is to follow @horse_ebooks.

Nearly everyone famous has a Twitter account now. Unfortunately many have obviously been set up by their publicist. I follow Burt Wolf (@BurtWolf) and Woody Allen (@WoodyAllen) but Woody Allen has only tweeted twelve times and Burt absolutely never. In Burt Wolf’s case this is hilarious because he still has 75 followers, me among them. I only have like 90 followers and I’ve tweeted almost 500 times. It’s a shame that Woody Allen doesn’t tweet more often because he’s awesome. I guess it’s my own fault for following old men.

I miss you.

But then there are the accounts that should tweet but don’t. Case in point: @homestarrunner. Remember how funny that website was? I get it if they don’t have time to make cartoons anymore, but seriously, how difficult is it to occasionally compose a tweet in the voice of Strong Bad? Not hard. Get on that, Brothers Chaps.

There are the little gems of Twitter that make me happy every time I log on. Following LeVar Burton (@levarburton) has been possibly the best choices I have ever made, social networking-wise. Know why LeVar Burton is awesome? Because he gets his own nostalgia factor. I’m not a Star Trek person or anything, but I was a viewer of PBS in the mid-80s, so whenever I read his tweets I always tack on “but you don’t have to take my word for it” at the end, thus inducing Reading Rainbow warm fuzzies.

Judging by his tweets, LeVar was as awesome as I suspected when I was five.

I will likely send out a tweet to notify my followers of the publication of this blog shortly after I publish it. How meta is that? Tweeting about Twitter.

I’m so modern I can hardly stand it.


  1. Twitter is a whole new dark side!

    1. But not if you follow @sesamestreet!

  2. I’m definitely ON the Twitter scene too. I scorned it for a while then arrived extremely late and started posting pics of cakes I was making. I’m still not sure if this is what Twitter is really ‘for’ but I do it anyway.

    1. When I first signed up I totally didn’t get it and didn’t understand its purpose. I still really don’t know if it has a purpose. But in my book, that makes it a glorious thing.

  3. I’ll be having a routine colonoscopy directly after I complete a 5K tomorrow while downing my favorite brew. Will you pray for me? Totally twitter worthy.

    1. When you put it that way, I don’t think I have a choice ;)

  4. I am off to follow @levarburton so I can relive my Reading Rainbow days. :-)

    1. You’ll be glad you did!

      1. but I won’t take your word for it! Hehehe

  5. Relax: I don’t have an orifice for a colonoscopy. 5K…LOL.
    You mean you don’t like reading about me downing my favorite brew?

    1. You are a very rare exception, being an alcoholic bear and all. Plus your pics include actual commentary and not just a million exclamation points.

      1. My next post is going to be about colonoscopies. It will be riddled with exclamation points.

        1. Just as long as they’re not followed by a 1, as in !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11.

  6. I’d totally follow Strong Bad on Twitter. Hell, I’d follow Strong Mad on Twitter.

    1. But not Strong Sad? Nah, come to think of it, me neither.

      1. I think half the Twitter accounts could probably pass for Strong Sad.

        1. Especially if he were ADHD.

  7. I like twitter because of my love for obnoxious hash tags. People on Facebook don’t get it.

    1. (Also, thanks for the namedrop. ;) )

      1. Yet people on FB do get the whole “repost this to show you are against eating babies.” Hashtags make waaaaay more sense than that.

        1. I’m totally against eating babies. How do I repost this? Is it this bu—

          1. You are??? OMG ME TOOOOOO!

  8. Yesss! Reading Rainbow! I am with you about Twitter vs. FB. I stay on FB really only to stay in touch with my friends who don’t have blogs or Twitter. But I haven’t posted anything there in ages, and I don’t know if I ever will again. The fact that I still don’t have timeline should indicate my high level of FB divestment. The funny thing is that I was also a late adopter–I made aTwitter account a few years and then deleted the thing when I realized that all my favorite writers never tweet. Lame-O! But now I really love it for keeping up with blogs and interesting internetical people. So I raise my beer glass to that!

    1. The fact that we both love RR independently of one another makes me know we were destined to be friends.

      I’m with you on FB. Most of the time I just log on to see B’s hijinx. If you haven’t noticed, he’s massively ridiculous on FB (he is ridiculous on Twitter too but it’s way funnier on FB because none of his high school friends know what the hell he’s doing.)

  9. I agree about Twitter! I used to love Homestarrunner! I thought I was the only person who knew about it! Probably the most surprising person I follow on Twitter is Ken Jennings, ya know, the Jeopardy Champion? He’s actually pretty funny. I hate when people post tons of tweets and clog up my feed. Super annoying.

    1. I loved H*R! I would have for sure lost my mind during grad school if it hadn’t existed. I still log on occasionally for the off chance they’ve made anything new. I will have to follow Ken Jennings. Thanks for the tip!

  10. bellissimom · · Reply

    Like you it takes me forever to join social networking sites. I also was really late on FB and blogging. Have not yet made my way to Twitter though. I feel like it will just suck away more of the lack of time I already have. You may have convinced me otherwise though!

    1. Oh, it is indeed a time suck! But in my life sometimes that’s not a bad thing. It’s easier and more fun to just tweet when I can’t get around to blogging some days.

  11. What I love about Twitter is that what needs to be said MUST be said in 140 characters or less. No page-long status updates. Or as you said, no endless scroll of stupid memes.

    Thanks for the mention!

    1. YES! I love the limits. I kind of feel like people are breaking the rules when they have nine tweets in a row all telling a long story. And if I want to look at memes I’ll just go to Tumblr or *shudder* Pinterest.

      1. I have yet to break down and go to Pinterest. If I did, I’d just post pics of what we find when we dissect owl vomit. Because that’s as crafty as I get.

        1. That is just the jolt of realism Pinterest needs.

  12. Thanks for mentioning my twitter account, though I should warn people that check it out to be prepared to read about “dick ticks”.

    I’ve been much more active on Twitter than Facebook because frankly I don’t have to worry about my parents seeing my often raunchy tweets. As a humorist, being raunchy is almost a necessity. You can’t post the usual whining garbage you do on Facebook. You need to make jokes about sex or politics to really get a following from what I’ve seen.

    1. Your Twitter hard work has paid off, as you’re the only person I know followed by Tawny Kitaen. If my goal for the last six months was to get Freshly Pressed, then my new goal is to get followed (or even responded to, for that matter) by a celeb.

      1. Yeah, still don’t know how that happened.

  13. Great post – I have a twitter account but don’t really understand it nor how some people have the time to tweet endlessly. One day I will learn. In the meantime……

    1. Thanks! I have a theory that two factors are at the root of majorly active twitter accounts: crappy office jobs wherein the employee needs a constant diversion, and smartphones. If I had either I would tweet a heck of a lot more.

      1. Yep I guess you are right – my mobile is basically steam driven and uses carrier pigeons for messages of more than 12 words. Oh well, the digital age and all that.

  14. Oh, crap. now I have to think about twitter. I don’t twit. Nor tweat. but you mentioned Homestar Runner and Strong Bad. My husband and I have a Livestrong app we use to track our consumption of consumables. He keeps calling it his “Strong Bad” app. OK, gotta to burninate some villagers.

    1. Oh, Troggy. I love his one beefy arm and stick legs.

  15. I have no facebook, nor do I have twitter. I’m lucky to be able to retrieve my email. I have to rely on my kids to show me all the tips and tricks. haha! To actually blog is quite a feat for me. I feel like an impostor, like the internet police are going to pull me over, “Mam, I’m afraid we need you to pull off to the side of the road and use the exit ramp.” hahaha!

    The one thing I do have and I do very well, if I might add, is Pinterest. It’s a total addiction. I find it satisfies my need to shop for mansions, designer wedding gowns and flowers so it’s actually saving me a lot of money! haha!

    1. I have not been a huge fan of Pinterest, but I will give it a second chance if you try out Twitter. Your Lily is one of the most amusing twitterers (tweeters?) I follow so I know you have it in you :)

      1. haha! I think she gets her sense of humor, in large part, from my husband. I feel that my day is so mundane — who could possibly be interested? (Besides you and Lily! ha!)

  16. clownonfire · · Reply

    Have you witnessed Wayne Coyne’s and Erykah Badu’s feud on Twitter? Epic.
    Le @clownonfire Clown

    1. Thanks for the tip. I’m on it! I love a good feud involving two random 90s musicians.

  17. […] like the Shroud of Turin, sustainable agriculture, NAFTA, Vatican II, etc., so when Emily of The Waiting mentioned colonoscopies, or rather, #colonoscopies, I promised I’d write about that topic next. […]

  18. […] Post navigation ← Previous […]

  19. Will you please pray for my routine colonoscopy? Or if you’re an atheist, just sit quietly for it? No, no… I said “sit” – you can go back and look. It only SOUNDS like I said the other thing. What do you mean, ‘what other thing?’ You know… golightly. I hope things are looking up, and if you want more information, look up Uranus.

Now you can hold the magic talking stick.

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