Festivus: The Big Reveal

So it’s Friday. We made it. If you’re reading this right now, the world didn’t end, and for that, we should all celebrate. Of course, there are still several hours left in the day, so I’m not making any promises. But, look on the bright side: either way you have an excuse to get drunk. And I don’t think I’m alone in saying that all of us could use a drink or eight.

For those of us in the US, the world may not have ended, but it is different. When Festivus began, none of us had ever heard of Sandy Hook Elementary School. Now, the name of that school along with the names of the 26 innocents who died there is seared forever into our hearts and minds. Many of us have spent the week airing our grievances over this tragedy, and Emily and I have struggled with how to continue our Festivus celebrations in light of everything that’s happened.

Ultimately we decided that the show must go on because we could all use a reason to smile, and because we want to celebrate that we are a part of such a wonderful, supportive community of bloggers. I speak for both of us when I say that we were absolutely blown away by the thought and effort you guys put into choosing gifts for each other. Some of them were hilarious, others more heartfelt, but each and every one of them was thoughtful in a way that went above and beyond anything we expected when we first started brainstorming this little holiday celebration.

Alright, I can see you all fidgeting in your seats, so we’ll get to the goods already.


The hints have been dropped, your guesses have been made, and now it’s time to see how wrong you were. Put on your ugly sweaters, have your booze at the ready, and if you would, give me a drum roll, please…

1 Point Perspective received a gift from Liquorstore Bear

25 to Fly received a gift from Meizac

& Squatch Makes Three received a gift from El Guapo

Ambling and Rambling received a gift from The Diary of Mr. Ghost

A Clown on Fire received a gift from I Fkkn Rock

A Flock of Crows received a gift from Lily in Canada

A Gripping Life received a gift from Harper Faulker

A Rich Full Life In Spite of It received a gift from The Bumble Files

Becoming Cliche received a gift from A Clown on Fire

Ben’s Opinion received a gift from A Gripping Life

Broken Condoms received a gift from Brother Jon

Brother Jon received a gift from Shoes on the Wrong Feet

Chez Casa received a gift from The Cheeky Diva

Clip Snark received a gift from Psycho Babble

Creative Liar received a gift from Thoughts and Musings

Disorderly Chickadee received a gift from Unfettered BS

Dork Daddy received a gift from Someone Fat Happened

El Guapo received a gift from You’ve Been Hooked

Excitement on the Side received a gift from Never Contrary

Fear No Weebles received a gift from Healthy Takeover

Harper Faulker received a gift from Just Another Canadian Gurl

Healthy Takeover received a gift from Krug the Thinker

Hello, Greece! received a gift from I’d Rather Be in Iceland

I Fkkn Rokk received a gift from Ruminations on Love and Lunchmeat

I Thought This Would Be Easier received a gift from Excitement on the Side

I’ll Sleep When They’re Grown received a gift from The Middlest Sister

I’d Rather Be in Iceland received a gift from Mooselicker

Jiltaroo received a gift from Wendy’s Works

Just Another Canadian Gurl received a gift from A Rich Full Life in Spite of It

Krug the Thinker received a gift from Broken Condoms

Laments and Lullabies received a gift from I’ll Sleep When They’re Grown

Large Self received a gift from Lazy Laura Maisey

Lazy Laura Maisey received a gift from Becoming Cliche

Life in These Times received a gift from A Flock of Crows

Lily in Canada received a gift from Clip Snark

Liquorstore Bear received a gift from Sips of Jen and Tonic

Meizac received a gift from Summer Solstice Musings

Mooselicker received a gift from Fear No Weebles

Never Contrary received a gift from Life in These Times

Psycho Babble received a gift from Storyteller Girl

Ruminations on Love and Lunchmeat received a gift from Southern Sea Muse

Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher received a gift from Large Self

Snide Reply received a gift from Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher

SJ @ Snobbery received a gift from 25 to Fly

Shoes on the Wrong Feet received a gift from Creative Liar

Sips of Jen and Tonic received a gift from This Heart of Mine

Someone Fat Happened received a gift from I Thought This Would Be Easier

Southern Fried Chicken in Vegas received a gift from Dork Daddy

Southern Sea Muse received a gift from Chez Casa

Speaker7 received a gift from Jiltaroo

Storyteller Girl received a gift from Ben’s Opinion

Summer Solstice Musings received a gift from The Tragic Whale

The Bumble Files received a gift from Woman in the Middle

The Cheeky Diva received a gift from Southern Fried Chicken in Vegas

The Diary of Mr. Ghost received a gift from 1 Point Perspective

The Fur Files received a gift from Speaker 7

The Middlest Sister received a gift from Snide Reply

The Tragic Whale received a gift from Laments and Lullabies

This Heart of Mine received a gift from The Fur Files

Thoughts and Musings received a gift from Disorderly Chickadee

Unfettered BS received a gift from & Squatch Makes Three

Wendy’s Works received a gift from Hello, Greece!

Woman in the Middle received a gift from Ambling and Rambling

You’ve Been Hooked received a gift from SJ @ Snobbery

festivusInstead of performing feats of physical strength–although I know all of us would like to see Le Clown wrestle someone while wearing his Festivus gift–we ask you to flex your muscles elsewhere.

The PTA at the school where Sandy Hook Elementary’s surviving students will now attend is asking for snowflakes. They want to give the kids “A White Christmas” when they return to classes after the New Year, and in order to do that, they need a little help. If you’d like to, and if you can get it there in time, make a snowflake of your own and send it to them.

They need all of the snowflakes by January 12, 2013. You can mail them to this address:

Connecticut PTSA
60 Connolly Pkwy, Building 12, Suite 103
Hamden, CT 06514

Now’s it’s time for the mingling and drunken debauchery to begin! Please see The Middlest Sister for your hot chocolate spiked with Bailey’s and Peppermint Schnapps. Mooselicker will be over in the corner waiting to hit on you once you’re drunk. Guap will provide the music, and Ericka’s new penguin, Dave, will provide the entertainment. And, before the evening is through, we hope you’ll all join us outside to watch Alex Rodriguez get run over by a reindeer car.

A very merry holiday to you and yours, and may all of you have the happiest of New Years!


  1. Ashley and Emily,
    Great work! This was well-thought, and well-executed. And kudos for the Sandy Hook Elementary message. Much love to you two, and to all of the families of the victims.
    Le Clown

    1. Thank you! Emily put a lot of faith in me writing the wrap-up post. I’m glad everyone seems to have enjoyed it.

  2. Epic Christmas!! Thanks guys!!

    1. You’re welcome! We had a great time!

  3. Good morning! I want to thank Laura for my wonderful gifts! I love handmade things and lavender! It’s funny that you would pick fingerless gloves to knit for me, Laura, as my favorite pair of gloves are hand-knit angora are fingerless and they’re getting a little worn so a new pair would be especially nice! I love cranberry orange marmalade and am thinking that some lemon-cream scones would be the perfect baking project to show off the marmalade.

    I wanted to post my comment early today as I am now in the car headed up to the mountains for a day of skiing at Winter Park (Colorado) and I won’t be available to Internet for most of the day. Woo-hoo! Everyone have fun and I’ll join you this evening when I get back home.

    1. Have a safe trip!

      1. I’m so glad you liked the gifts! And what a coincidence that I would knit you fingerless gloves because I can’t do full fingers but actually, fingerless gloves are what you need. I hope you are having lovely fun skiing!

  4. THANK YOU!! This was so awesome ~ Cathy, I LOVED your gift to me. I should have known about the Jazz – both you & Le Clown noted that you liked jazz….and yes, bass players are H-O-T!

    Excellent job on this ladies and for mentioning Sandy Hook & the Snowflakes. My girlfriend from there will be so happy when they arrive! Right now the kids from Sandy Hook are attending a school on her street – the outpouring of love from all over the place has been a balm for their ragged souls right now.

    Happy FESTIVUS! I’m ready to take anyone on with a FEAT OF STRENGTH!

    1. You’re welcome, Denise! As “they” say, we often get gifts for people that we would love ourselves and maybe one of these days I’ll get a Fender bass for myself too. Already have a nice amp (Trace-Elliott) as I play Classical Guitar and had one of my guitars fitted with a Baggs pickup so I could amplify it. Let us know when you get your band together for your first gig!

      1. Hee hee…I own a red Ibanez left-handed bass and amp (not left handed!). I’m more of a trained monkey – but one of these days…one of these days..I might not be! I love languages and the language of music eludes me (b/c it’s math based)….but I still can enjoy it!

        I love classical guitar – my husband is a musical person – and I love to just listen…

        I actually played with my husband and 7 yr old for his school’s holiday show – we were “Dorian & The Kool” and he sang “I’m a Believer” by the Monkees. ADORBS! That was my first and last show ~

        1. You never know…May not be your last!

    2. Oh, I’m so glad to hear that! I hope lots of people mail snowflakes! I’m planning on getting mine in the mail this weekend.

  5. Whoa, I guessed right for once! I didn’t think it was possible!

    Also, for Kristin, I must explain that the package was full of macarons, not macaroons!

    Great Festivus, all. Now, my feat of strength will be vanquishing a Paper That Will Not Die.

    1. Yay! There’s no way I ever would have guessed correctly with so many people to choose from. Good luck with the paper!

  6. Given the whirlwind nature of my life right now, I missed your tweet about this. Brilliant idea! Count me in for next Festivus. :-) I love the snowflake idea. Thanks for letting us know.

    1. You’re welcome! We’ll definitely count you in for next time :)

  7. Emily and Ashley – great party, great presents, all-round good time. And I love the snowflake idea. If I could, I would send all the snowflakes that we are getting here in Ottawa today, which is up to 40 cm. Happy holidays to all!

    1. Thank you! We had a lot of fun doing it!

  8. Krug did a great job on my gift and memorializing ‘ol Virgil Bailey.
    And what a great idea for the kids! Merry Christmas to you ladies and thanks for putting this on.

    1. Merry Christmas to you, too!! We had a lot of fun. I’m glad you enjoyed it!

  9. I knew it! I had that Secret Santa pegged! I am so—OK, no, no I didn’t. I had no clue. Thanks, Guap. Consider this an open invitation for pizza and baseball anytime. As long as it’s, y’know, baseball season.

    Nicely done, Emily and Ashley. I think this might have been one of the coolest things ever to happen on the internet.

    1. Thanks! I’m glad you think so! And don’t feel bad; I wouldn’t have been able to guess out of 64 people either. You DID get a pretty awesome gift, though. You should probably share it with me. haha

      1. Hey, Omaha’s only a couple hours away. Come on down whenever you need a pizza fix.

  10. Emily and Ashley, I had an amazing time!! Thanks for making the holidays a little brighter.
    And thanks to my friend, Harper Faulkner, for his sweet and thoughtful gift.
    I wish everyone a wonderful, warm and cozy Christmas/ or what ever you celebrate, with the ones you love. I Hope with all my heart, that this coming year brings peace and happiness and positive changes into each of our lives.
    All my Love to this incredible blogging community!!!

    1. We had an amazing time, too! Thanks so much for joining in the fun! A wonderful, warm and cozy Christmas to you, as well!

  11. Thank you Ashley and Emily for a fun fun Festivus party!!!

    1. You’re welcome! We’re glad you enjoyed it!

  12. I just want to thank Becoming Cliche for my fabulous gift as I can now read again – on my new Kobo!! Thanks x

  13. Thanks Emily and Ashley for your thoughtful celebration. This was a lot of fun! I’m totally surprised, too. It was a big success! I wish you both a Merry Christmas!

    1. You’re very welcome! It was a blast. A merry Christmas to you, too!

  14. Y’all really set the bar for blog parties with this one. GREAT job. I would have never guessed my secret santa, but Meizac did a fantastic job. I love anything having to do with dance. Duh. I really have developed respect for you ma’am! Merry Christmas to all of you!

    1. Thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed it!

  15. Ooo so that’s what you meant by “corporate artsy”! I was going to guess Clip Snark, but I wasn’t sure she knew who I was! Haha! Thanks so much for my gift! I love it!
    This was a really great thing you guys pulled off! Thanks for putting so much time and effort into it, Emily and Ashley! You made my holidays much more merry and bright! :)

    1. I’m super glad to hear it! We had a lot of fun!

  16. Yay, thanks, Adrienne! I figured it out thanks to Emily’s hint. :) I actually ordered the book so I can read about the ghost towns (and hot dead mining guys) for realz.

    1. You did?! I love that! I’m not lying when I say I want to tour old ghost towns of the west particularly Colorado.
      I’m so glad you enjoyed your virtual gift. Merry F’ing Christmas to you Weebs!

    2. That’s funny Madame Weebles, I sent Cole Hamels a letter and we’ve arrange to rent a UHaul to run over A-Rod next week.

      1. Excellent. Can I watch? I hate A-Rod too. I still can’t figure out how you guessed it was me so quickly—it could have been any number of people! Well done, bro.

        1. We had the specific conversation before on how much he sucks. I think Yankees fans hate him more than anyone else anyway. Maybe this year he won’t ground into so many double plays.

          1. Drat, I forgot about that. He won’t be back until after the all-star break because he just had surgery, so who knows what he’ll do. I kind of hope he implodes.

  17. Thank you girls for doing this! Such fun and I rarely get the opportunity to drink at work. I doubt anyone will notice. I will post the snowflake information on my FB.

    Happy Festivus from the Restivus!

    1. They won’t notice a thing! lol Thanks for participating. We’re really glad you enjoyed it!

  18. Kudos to you for putting together yet another I-can’t-believe-they-did-that post. Oy vey, the time it must have taken! And thanks for letting us know about the snowflakes. I’m going to have my boys make one for the school. Happy Christmas/Holiday!

    1. Happy Christmas/Holiday to you, too, Carrie!

  19. My feat of strength will be to sock Satan in the mouth when he comes for me today. I ain’t going without a fight, you motherfucker.
    And thanks to Storyteller Girl for my thoughtful gift!!! I will visit your blog to thank you “in person.”

  20. Ashley and Emily, this was the best Festivus party I’ve ever attended, not just because of the company and the refreshments, but because SSG also gave me the best gift I’ve ever received. Like, ever.

    1. Yay! I’m so glad you had fun!

    2. I’m glad you liked it! It was a hoot designing TaRa in my mind. I also intended to make some sketches to go with it but this is a pretty busy season for us at the school and I have been teaching and training a lot so I didn’t have time to do it, sorry about that. If I ever get around doing it, I’ll send them to you.

      Happy Holidays to you and the little ones!

  21. Thanks so much for organizing this Emily and Ashley! I had no clue, obviously, but am off to thank my Secret Santa…

    1. You’re welcome. It was our pleasure, really :)

  22. unfetteredbs · · Reply

    Awesome time and this was great! I love my gift :)
    Thanks for posting the snowflake address

  23. Fun! I guessed the middlest sister based on her hint in a post. She’s the best. Sucks my laptop is at the fixers because I haven’t gotten to play very much! Good job, dearies, and way to go giving us something light to look forward too. X to the oh.

  24. Thanks for the Festivus party! :-)

  25. Great job ladies! Thank you for bringing this community closer together and spreading extra holiday cheer.

  26. I love my present. Thank you so much Wendy. Great hint too Emily…but it’s funny that I guessed the Hook first. Just seemed like the obvious answer because of the Peter Pan reference that I didn’t look any further. However, this lovely present (my knew scrubs) has a far more delicate and feminine touch. They are so cute! Happy Christmas to you all. I must now continue to introduce myself to any of these bloggers that I haven’t met yet. Girls you have done an incredible job of this. It was so much fun and I can only imagine how much work you have put in. Can’t wait until Speaker 7 is back on line to receive her pressie from me!

  27. BEST HOLIDAY PARTY EVER!!!! I’m going to thank my Secret Santa now!

    1. Glad you approve :)

  28. Super fun link up ladies! Had a blast and a BIG THANKS to A Flock of Crows for my perfectly planned present! Kudos!

    1. So glad you enjoyed it! We had a great time, too!

  29. Ha! I was so off. I totally thought my Secret Santa was Madame Weebles. Awesome! Hopping over The Tragic Whale now :)

    Thanks so much for the party. Tons of fun

    1. You’re very welcome! So glad you enjoyed it!! Thanks for participating and helping to make it awesome :)

  30. Thanks guys! One of the better holiday parties I’ve attended.

    1. Did you like your present?

    2. You’re welcome!! Glad to hear it. Have good holidays!

  31. Dave’s a riot! I told him to stop wearing that lamp shade on his head! Okay, fine. I provoked him. Happy Festivus everyone and a big thank you to Thoughts and Musings for my beloved penguin!

  32. This was by far the best holiday party I went to all year! Ok, so I only went to one other one, but this one blew it out the park.

    1. Hoooray! That was basically our main goal, so I’m glad to know we hit a homerun. Thanks for participating and helping to make it awesome!

  33. […] want to read a mommy blog. (I think I stole that from you.) I was her Secret Santa this year during Festivus. I really enjoyed combing through a years worth of posts trying to figure out what to get her. It […]

  34. […] always hope for one present, but this year I got three, the first a Festivus gift from Sips of Jen and […]

  35. […] to have ever thought of my silly blogging game. However, Ashley knocked it out of the park with her Festivus wrap-up post. It gave me chills. It still does. Ashley’s tact and awareness shine. She is an incredible […]

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