Today we awoke to find that we were out of mouthwash, a staple in our home. Possibly because we spent some time in Korea where almost everyone brushes after every single meal, B and I are anal about our teeth (OK, note to self, “anal about your teeth” should not be a thing. Ewww.)
Because we use so much of it, I usually buy the generic brand; frugality is cool, man. This means that I buy it at Target or Walmart nine times out of ten. Normally, we have some backup containers under the sink, along with about ten extra tubes of toothpaste, fifteen extra toothbrushes, several thousand extra yards of floss, and a couple of those tongue scrapers and a dentist-office spritz (for good measure.) But with the baby coming, I have lost focus during my Target visits and neglected to stock up on mouthwash lately. Obsessed with Baby’s First Christmas, I have been straying from the grooming aisles and perusing decorative holiday oven mitts instead.
Followers of this blog, you haven’t missed anything: the baby has not yet been born. I’m just preparing for Christmas 2012. I want Bebe to know the love of the holidays that can only be conveyed in a set of hand towels with smiling gingerbread men on them. Such love is more poignant when Mommy purchases them before Baby’s arrival.
But our teeth suffer. Brushing twice is not enough; we must gargle. I could just go to the store today and pick up some mouthwash, right?
WRONG. For today is Black Friday, that day that divides our country into two warring camps. On one side are the staunch capitalists who take advantage of their tryptophan-induced comas of mid afternoon to rise again late in the evening and stand in line to save ten dollars. There’s a possibility that they’ll trample a Walmart security guard; such is the stuff that holiday traditions are made of. On the other side are the self-described holiday purists, doubtless all drivers of Priuses and subscribers to NPR. Their war cry is that Christmas consumerism has encroached the perimeters of Thanksgiving so much in recent years that soon our national morale will be completely compromised by the lack of Thanksgiving observance. Everything the founding fathers worked towards will be for naught if we don’t eat a giant poultry-based meal with our extended families a month before Christmas, when we will eat a giant poultry-based meal with our extended families.
Black Friday: you love it or you hate it, and people will likely judge you based on your opinion of the day. I know I’m going to unfriend everyone on my Facebook who announced sentiments counter to my own on this extremely pertinent issue. If you can’t blindly judge people based on their consuming habits, then on what valid grounds can you judge them?
I am personally going to sacrifice my teeth to the hoards today and avoid the stores. Perhaps this is because I woke to an email from my aunt wishing us a happy Thanksgiving weekend and then conveying her hope that we weren’t at the local shopping mall early this morning, where gunmen let loose on the premises. No one was harmed, but really? This seems a little excessive, even for the extremely bored people in our town.
I simply don’t want to get involved in the fray (the crowds OR that band). My sarcasm-cloaked ambivalence towards shopping, big box stores, and sentimentality is evidenced in this very post.
Ergo, I will stay home and concoct gargles with baking soda. Frugality triumphs once again.