When your un-disembodied hands aren't enough: The Zaky Pillow
One of the many things I’m experiencing now that I’m halfway through my pregnancy is that of creating the registry for little Bebe. Yes, there are few joys during pregnancy that approach that of shopping around for things that you have absolutely no idea if you will end up needing or the baby will like. It’s also amusing to wonder if your family and friends will ignore the list you toiled over and instead purchase items for your little one that have no basis in reality, such as the Zaky hands pillow.
Making a registry can be overwhelming, but fear not! I have compiled a few tips to assist other parents-to-be out there in choosing the right things to add to their registries.
1. Pick a side in the disposable/reusable diaper debate. And do it NOW. If you’re going to flake out compromise and go with both, write up a treatise on why you feel the need to divide your allegiance between these two warring camps, as enthusiasts will demand a thoughtful explanation. Force share your thoughts with everyone but especially undecided pregnant women who can still be won over. Knowledge is power. Similarly,
2. Spend lots of time with opinionated moms. Frequently stress to them that you don’t know what you’re doing at all when it comes to making purchases for your little passenger; by doing so, you will give them the go-ahead to inundate you with information that they likely omitted as a courtesy to you when they initially sent you a nineteen page email weighing the merits of several brands of spit-cloths. All moms are experts. Do not toss aside any of the critical information they bestow on you. Remember, you don’t know anything.
3. Research every single new item that has emerged from the baby market in the past several years. The more difficult it is to identify the item at first glance, the better. Your baby will thank you for being aware that there is a stroller that doubles as a cookbook holder/ hobby horse/ lap desk/ fondue set; even if you do not purchase it, the child will appreciate that you spent an entire afternoon researching said stroller when you could have chosen any other worthwhile activity, such as eating or bathing.
4. If this is your first child, decide now if you’re planning on having other children. When embarking on the task of decorating a nursery, the expectant parent is faced with the question of whether the room should be gender specific or gender neutral. If you opt for making the room gender specific, you will never be able to use any of this stuff again if your next child is another sex. Imagine the identity crisis that would ensue if you reused a white crib on (gasp!) a boy or dressed your baby girl in (o, the horror!) a blue onesie! So decide now. You likely took far too long to decide to have the current baby anyway. Tick-tock.
5. Adjust your attitude. Had a lot of fun making your wedding registry, now didya? Yeah, it was fun to hop through Macy’s with that little scanner, caution to the wind, wasn’t it? Well, guess what? You’re pregnant now and you have to start acting like a grownup. You want XYZ crib for Baby? Well, XYZ crib could possibly mean the demise of your little one. That’s right; all baby products have the potential to scar your baby for life. You had better be good and sure that XYZ crib is safe or you could very well be buying your child the equivalent of a machete.
Happy registering! Remember, no pressure!
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Congrats to jmlindy for being Freshly Pressed! I love her blog Snide Reply, and you should too! Check out the post Gratitude, Schmatitude that is garnering her some well-earned attention.
The Waiting 
It is also absolutely essential that you find out the gender of your child. Even if you don’t wish to know until the baby is born, you owe it to the gift-buyers in your life. After all, it’s hard to select a book/blanket/stuffed toy in green or yellow.
Absolutely. How dare a parent neglect finding out the sex? How is Aunt Bev going to choose between the $2 pink or blue bottles without this critical information? Parents can really be so selfish.
LOL. My mom got so mad at us, not about the gender, but about the fact that we hadn’t picked a name. “How am I supposed to get things monogrammed?” I was like, umm…I don’t know. Maybe just don’t get things monogrammed?
We ended up with endless amounts of crap we didn’t use/need. I think everyone does.
Other peoples’ standards for pregnancy are strange enough, but when they are really shocked and dismayed that you could possibly do something differently than them, that’s when the real fun begins. Yeah, monogramming. I don’t think that would register on my list of critical issues either.
Our solution to the unwanted crap problem has been to move to another continent. So far it’s working.
We are also exploring our options in that direction. Kind of the baby version of eloping.
OMG! I think I love MethylEthyl! That sounds like one of my solutions. Oh wait, no, I make THEM move to another continent! LOL! I was talking to a girlfriend who is in month 9 with her 4th. I told her I had looked at the registry, but wanted to know what she really wanted. She said a week off. I got her the mother-in-law’s gift. And she loved it. I wish more women knew about it and used it. I have given it more times than I ever did baby-specific items (which would need to be returned when she figured out gender specific is so dill).
My late husband always had a fit when I dress our son in a pink or lavender blanket sleeper. “Who would ever know?” I always asked. I suppose now, the entire Internet!
Red.
PS You made the list http://mommasmoneymatters.wordpress.com/2011/11/23/secret-blogger-award/
I’d gladly accept a week off, even if it just meant that someone was going to hang out with me and the baby for a few days. Extra hands and someone to keep you sane is the best thing.
Thank you for putting me on your list :D It means a lot to me, coming from you.
We didn’t have baby registries when I had my daughter. I guess it was inevitable.
Loved the post.
Hate the creepy hand pillows. I think just seeing them has scarred me for life.
I think there is a very real correlation between babies who cuddle fake hand pillows and adults who end up marrying inanimate objects (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/03/10/korean-man-marries-pillow_n_494122.html). I may have to file that away and check back in twenty years.
Thanks!
I didn’t do a registry (gasp!) because…I don’t think anyone would have paid any attention to it anyway. I therefore ended up with a zillion blankets that were used only so long as Baby let me swaddle him (2 weeks), and a zillion onesies that he grew out of within a month. If we have another baby, I am absolutely doing a registry. I learned my lesson on that.
I have a very real fear of people veering away from the registry despite my work in preparing it. (READ: I have a very real fear that the Zaky hands pillow will at some point find its way into my home.)
With our first kid we went totally disposable diaper and he took forever to potty train which we blame on the super comfiness of Pampers. Hell, I mean if I could crap myself and not feel it, I wouldn’t bother using the potty either. With our second kid we decided to go the cloth diaper route since we thought it would encourage him to want to get out of diapers and my wife was on a green kick for a while. Well, after a few months of leaving dirty diapers out as long as possible to avoid cleaning them, we are back to mostly disposable again. I apologize to the Earth for adding to the landfills, but my house no longer smells like poop and you can’t put a price on that.
Rob, The Mainland
Hahaha I don’t blame him! It’s a little amazing that any baby ever grows up at all what with the pooping whenever you want/ eating whenever you want/ being carried everywhere.
“I apologize to the Earth for adding to the landfills, but my house no longer smells like poop and you can’t put a price on that.” That is a solid argument and I think the staunchest of the diaper debate advocates would buy it :)
[…] may remember that back when I was preggo, I was kind of obsessed with the creation of our baby registry, mostly because I had no idea what we actually needed and I didn’t want to look like a fool […]