A few weeks ago I gave birth to baby. THEN I was Freshly Pressed on WordPress. It was an eventful week. When I was Pressed, WordPress categorized my post as “Humor.” I suppose it was kind of funny, but WordPress has been known to miscategorize these posts before. For instance, I recall that when Never Contrary was Pressed a few months back, her post was obliquely categorized as “Food” simply because she made a mention of cake or something (please correct me if I’m mistaken, Bonnie.)
Anyway, all this is to say that I need some serious humor in my life right now.
Or at least the ability to recognize it for what it is.
My life right now is mostly just humorously absurd; I will be able to laugh at it in the future, but as I experience it it’s hard to laugh. B and I have determined that Miss C actually waits for us to be changing her poopy diaper to teetee all over the changing table. She just likes to do this. It will be funny someday, but it’s really not right now. Her brand of humor is just too ahead of its time. She’s a tiny Andy Kaufman.
Also, I have tried to infuse my life with humor by watching amusing TV shows. We’ve been watching The Larry Sanders Show on Netflix and my capacity to enjoy it is greatly diminished by my inability to stay awake for the duration of the 23 minute episodes.
When I do laugh heartily, it always seems as though the baby is napping on my tummy, so my guffaws just startle her. If you’ve ever startled an infant, you know that it is objectively hilarious to see their little faces trying to figure out what the heck is going on. But the humor is lost when you realize that it’s now back to the drawing board to get them to fall back asleep.
This is kind of a downer post. Ironically, I have tried to make it funny. I think my time would have been wiser-spent napping.
At least WordPress might label it “Humor” by dint of the Larry Sanders reference.
Do you have any sure-fire things you do to get a laugh?
I just read Jen and Tonic’s latest post about internet dating which somehow including dressing up a penis in a stovepipe hat. Pretty funny if you ask me.
i second that. and why was the lincoln one my favorite too? lol.
I told her that I like to wrap a watch around mine and pretend it’s Flava Flave.
noooooolllllllllllloooolllllllllll….careful, you’ll attract brigitte neilson that way. he, he. sm
That’s OK. I’ve already attracted Tawny Kitaen, and if I can handle her, I can handle anyone.
Sorry to hijack your post Emily, but hopefully this is the kind of humor you were looking for :)
LOL you guys are cracking me up :-D
i take everything too seriously and then it somehow turns out funny…i think it’s in the earnestness of the try…or something like that. lol. xo, sm
That is a good problem to have. When I get serious I just end up depressing myself and everyone around me.
Aw, I’m sorry it is rough. You might like Regretsy.com. But make sure Miss C isn’t sleeping on you when you read it. I love you!
I will check it out!
I’m trying to remember Dr. Phil on the Larry Sanders Show.
And scaring babies has always been fun. Now you’re making me sad that it won’t be when the baby is mine. At least I’ll still have the cat.
Haha we haven’t gotten that far into the series but now I have something to look forward to.
I don’t think he ever was. I was just looking at your picture there, and I thought…
Aw, nevermind. Joke fail…
Awww now I see! It’s hard for me to NOT see George Bluth when I watch Jeffrey Tambor.
I second Regretsy. And DYAC.com. I literally HOWL with laughter at all the stupid ways autocorrect is ruining lives!
They tagged my FP post under “parenting.” It was about my birthday wishes for the big 4-0. At least they didn’t tag it under “aging.”
I really wonder how they come up with some of these tags. I think they just throw a dart at a big board of possible tags and then go with whatever it lands on.
I was initially categorized as humor, and then recategorized as health. Given that my first exercise tip was “bang your head against the wall for fifteen minutes”, I’m a little wary of that categorization! I second your dartboard theory.
I didn’t know they did that to you! No offense, LBG, but I don’t think I’d take health advice from you ;)
So, our little guy loves to pee all over the changing table also but add in the ability to pee upward because of his boy business and that means he is peeing all over his clothes and usually one of us. At first my husband was horrified by being peed on (which secretly amused me) but now he is getting used to it. We both have just taken to laughing as much as possible when it happens because that is all I can do without getting incredibly frustrated. I thought two changing table covers would be enough. Ha, I need 2 to 3 more!
Sure fire way to laugh – call a girfriend of mine who is a riot. Sometimes I only have to talk to her for 2 or 3 minutes and I am giggling away! Laughter is indeed the best medicine. Chocolate helps alot too!
I was under the impression that only little boys could teetee upward too but then my multitalented gal did it. I guess she heard that girls can do anything boys do ;)
One of my funny friends is coming over the visit tomorrow so hopefully she’ll be able to get a laugh out of me.
My son makes me laugh. He is the funniest, most obscene person I know. On that peeing on the changing table thing. I had a stack of cloth diapers. I would a small stack of them on the changing table. That way the diaper got messy, but the changing table pad didn’t.
I don’t know why I didn’t think of that! I need to try it, since she’s not even using her cloth diapers yet. Thanks for the tip!
Sorry about the pee. At least it’s not poop! It must be that cold air that gets them going. It gets better. And there will be plenty to laugh about.
Very true! Although I have caught her mid-poop before. It’s easier to control, though. I think you’re right about the cold air.
Poop can also fly. When Laura was less than a month, Jung was taking his turn for a middle of the night diaper change. He urgently called out, “Boo, come here! I need you.” I panicked, thinking Laura had rolled off the changing pad. When I got to her room, there was a 4 foot trail of poo from one end of the bureau top to the other. When Jung lifted her legs and bottom to wipe and put on the clean diaper, she projectile pooped. It was so ridiculous that I cracked up laughing, while Jung, who is highly fastidious, was thoroughly grossed out. It was a poo shot never to be forgotten.
OK now I feel bad for complaining. Knock on wood that so far it’s only been teetee!
I’ve gotten the projectile poop before, as had some other friends. What I learnt from our respective experiences is make sure your changing table faces sideways. I was the lucky one with a sideways table, they had a changing deck attached to their playpen where baby’s head is inside and baby’s bum faces the person changing the nappy. The line of fire is NOT where you want to be.
Good call. Thanks for the tip, Elaine! :)
How about tell your husband that you’ve signed up for a meditation class that meets every evening from 7 to 10 for two weeks, then watch his face as the realization slowly sinks in that he’ll have to be the point man for Miss C every night for a fortnight. Wicked, I know, but when you’ve been married as long as I have THAT is funny. ;-)
I like your line of thinking, Stacy :) This is all the more proof that I really need to read your book.
Sorry to tell you it was actually funny as you always are. Think of the positives, at least she can’t move around yet so you always know where she is, she hasn’t got unsuitable friends yet – cheer up, it’s going to get worse. :) Sorry, I’ll stop now.
Haha that’s true! I’ve already been told by about a million people that it’s going to get harder, so I ought to just suck it up.
And perhaps invest in a good bottle of booze. J/K!
Could you add those puppy pee pads under her at changing time? That might help with clean up!
That’s a really great idea! I think I still have some giant pads that they sent home with me from the hospital!
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If I need a good laugh I usually talk to myself. Eventually I become so absurd I can’t help but laugh at myself. I don’t recommend doing this in front of other people.
I’m sure that’s the best advice I’ve gotten all day. And we preggos/people with babies get a LOT of advice ;)
Yes they did it to me both times. The first time I had no category and the second time it was food. I found it quite puzzling.
My little girl waited to poop until we changed her diaper. I would go through 4 diapers in an attempt to get one changed.
That’s happened a few times to us too. My husband has taken to waiting a few moments after he’s already gone to change her. Can’t say I blame him. Diapers are freaking expensive.
…and the poopy diapers never fail to occur when you’re running late and trying to get out the door. One of ours freaked out in the baby tub in the bathtub, so we lodged the baby tub in the kitchen sink and bathed him there. He liked that so much better that he shot a nice yellow arc up over the sink and….straight into the toaster way over on the yonder countertop. His big brother will not let him forget it, either. Especially when he eats toast.
Now that’s precision. It seems like there should be an Olympic event or something that that feat would qualify him for!
Yes, the Infant Elimination Trials!
I’m guessing you haven’t had a round of explosive diarrhea, yet? OMG! Nightmare. Don’t be surprised to one day find poop oozing out of the neckline of the baby’s shirt. I know, totally scary. And it will happen when you probably don’t have a change of clothes with you.
There. I hope I gave you something to laugh about, even if it is a nervous sort of laugh! haha!
Not yet, although she’s gotten very close to testing the capacity of her diapers! I can for sure laugh about it now because her little poops are so small because her little stomach is so small. I’m just going to pretend that it will always remain this way :)
I try and always find the humor in this stuff that happens to use. Sometimes just writing it can make you laugh at the ridiculousness of it. I bet as you blog and tell us about it, our laughter will help yours. :-). The visual image did make me chuckle. Especially everyone’s comments. Lol
It is for sure true that at least writing about this stuff is kind of like putting a deposit in the humor bank for later use. I look back on some of the other redonk things that have happened over the years and am glad I can laugh at them now.
It’s also helpful to hear from other people who say that it’s all temporary so I should savor it. I’m learning to really appreciate where my little family is right now :)
I think that is the hardest thing in our lives. In the moment, it is so hard, frustrating, emotionally taxing, but once our “in the moment” passes, the ability to laugh is so important.
Hi! Lisa from A Gripping Life sent me over to check out your blog. I like it. I even pushed the like button and everything. Congrats on getting Freshly Pressed! That’s cool.
I remember that phase of new babydom. Interesting time in life “to look back on”! But it gets much much better once they are sleeping through the night! :)
Thanks for coming by! I think we follow a lot of the same blogs so I’ve seen you around the internet water cooler.
Haha “to look back on” is the key phrase there. C and I were hanging out with a friend and her 9 MO today and compared to my gal, her baby was basically in college. I’m slowly falling in love with where we are now, though, and despite the fact that I’m worn out, I honestly will miss these early days.
If I take off my shirt and pull my leggings up as far as possible (maternity leggings are AWESOME for this) and then walk around the apartment Fosse-style, the Lumberjack is guaranteed to either choke on whatever he is eating or nearly piss himself laughing. ALWAYS A WINNER.
Seriously! I don’t EVER plan on relinquishing my maternity leggings! They are a gift from God due to their comfort and their ability to produce hilarity.
Read this: http://www.amazon.com/Lets-Pretend-Never-Happened-ebook/dp/B0065S8R38/ref=dp_kinw_strp_1?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2
My copy came in the other day and, and I don’t know if I can blame this completely on the book, but I have almost peed on myself THREE times. THREE! Not that you want to pee on yourself or anything. But maybe, since you are no longer pregnant, you are no longer in danger of doing these types of things. Either way, HILARIOUS.
Hahaha well every-so-often I do like to check in on the toilet and let it know how much I appreciate what it symbolized near the end of my pregnancy. Oh and if I didn’t freak you out with TMI on the comment I left on your blog earlier today, let me also say that you have a lot to look forward to by way of peeing yourself in the days following your delivery. Postpartum incontinence is yet another thing they don’t tell you too much about. Oh, the fun never ends!
I am going to the library tomorrow and will definitely take that book out. Have been looking for a good book for awhile. Thanks for the tip!
Oooh! More to look forward to! I can’t wait! Maybe I can graduate from ALMOST peeing on myself to ACTUALLY peeing on myself! What a ray of sunshine!
I’m not sure the library will have it yet, it just came out a few days ago. But WHEN and IF you do get a chance to read it, it is perfect for those of us who don’t have a lot of time or the attention span (read:pregnancy brain) to read something that is cohesive. Which maybe doesn’t sound like an awesome review…but it is totally worth the read. And the possible peeing.
Arrested Development and The Office are always good for a laugh-out-loud laugh, although I suppose that won’t help with startling the sleeping baby on your tummy. The Onion, Failblog, and icanhascheezburger also do the trick for me – and cheezburger doubles as my cute animals fix! Rest assured your humour is alive and well, as evidenced by your post :)
Those two shows you mentioned are – no kidding – my top two shows of all time. I could literally quote AD for days on end, and I probably actually have at some point. Good call – I need to rewatch the entire series for the 15th time. Geez, I don’t even have to be in a bad mood to do that!
I seem to find something new in AD every time, a little joke or reference that I missed before. What a show! I’ve read rumours that they’re making a fourth season and a movie. I might pee my pants a little if it actually happens.
Oh, it’s happening! I’ve been following it pretty religiously and it looks like all the new episodes are going to be released on Netflix and then the movie will follow. So psyched! If you tweet you should follow @bluthquotes.
this is my surefire laugh. you’re welcome.
I love this video! I’ve been wanting to get the baby the same Bjorn bib but I can’t find one with a ghost on it.
I have helped raise my three children and two of them have been boys. Their pee seemed to have a radar lock on my coffee cup or tea glass. If I could shoot anything that perfect I would join the olympic team.
It surely is amazing how instinctual that aim seems to be! In the same way that babies know how to nurse at birth, they also know exactly how to taint a good cuppa. Thanks for commenting, Tim, and welcome!
The spontaneous pee does end. I think they do it for two or three months.
Arrested Development! We’ve seen every episode, like, 20 times. Literally. Best show ever.
Love The Office too. But you’re quite right; it’s hard to laugh with the kid on top of you. They startle very easily when they’re little, but then (well I think most of them) they reach this point where they can sleep through anything. We had Transformers pinned once and both kids slept right through it in the same room. (We always tried to expose them to noise so they’d learn to sleep through it.)
My mum says she completely lost her sense of humor by having kids.
Why am I not surprised at all that you are an AD fan? I think it’s because you are awesome in all ways possible, TV shows notwithstanding. And why do I also have a feeling that you are personally acquainted with Franklin the puppet? Froggert is, so you must be too. Now I want to eat a frozen banana. And a corn ball.
We’re actually getting a kick out of startling her. I don’t know if this makes us bad parents, but whenever we startle her, she throws her little arms up and B and I are both like, “STEVE HOLT!!!”
That’s what kids are for! They need to be mocked or they’ll become very serious.
I hadn’t thought of Froggert in that light before. Perhaps he needs his own blog? I think Franklin was the very height of AD. I’ve never been so heartbroken about a show ending as I was about AD. Tried to show it to numerous friends and relatives who just didn’t find it that funny. I feel like they missed out on a whole vocabulary–they have no idea what a “never-nude” is, never mind a cornballer. Who was your favorite character?
Froggert has begged for his own blog and one of these days we may actually let him have one, when we think the world is ready for him.
It’s so hard to choose a favorite character! But I think the duo of Lucille (the mom, not Lucille II) and Buster is pretty awesome. “Here’s some candy, Buster. Wait, I’m withholding it. Look at me, getting off.” I LOVE IT!
oh, and thank you (!) for saying I’m awesome. Beneath my never-nude fur I’m blushing.
Hurting others always gets a laugh. Not from the person being hurt but from me. And when I’m laughing everyone else is laughing. Or so I pretend.
Maybe I’ll just go outside and stomp some ants or something.
I’m laughing already!
Laughter, especially a good belly laugh, happens too infrequently. I smile/laugh a lot, but I need to work on this one a bit more and be more deliberate in seeking laughter. Angie
I LOVE belly laughs! I’m also lucky because my husband occasionally gets me going laughing so hard that I can barely breathe. It’s a great feeling!
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