I had planned on publishing this post on Friday, but I’m too excited to get started with it. May the games begin!
We’re all friends here, right? Right. So what do you do when you have a group of friends that you want to bond with? You all go to Walmart and photograph each other wearing muumuus! No? OK, maybe that’s just me and my imaginary friends.
What people really do when they have a group of people they’ve bonded with is sit around and decide what celebrities would play them all in a movie about their friendship. It’s always fun to see who you would pick for yourself and who your friends would pick for you. “Fun,” however, does not necessarily mean “flattering.” When I worked at the restaurant in Chicago, my coworkers chose Ricki Lake to play me in the movie of our restaurant. I was less than flattered.
Another time, a friend of mine told me that I reminded him of Liz Lemon. Aside from the fact that Liz Lemon is a fictional character who technically couldn’t play me in a movie because she’s too busy eating hotdogs, that was an improvement on Ricki Lake.
I like to think that in a movie of my life, Audrey Tatou would dramatize me. This is perhaps my most delusional fantasy of my adult life. My most delusional fantasy of my childhood was getting to be the bassist in the Show-Biz Pizza band, but this is realistic compared to me being a beautiful quirky French-speaking waif.
The thing about these three celebrities is that people who really know me and have met me in the flesh chose them for me. When given the uncensored version of me, these are the celebs they came up with. Here in Jonesville*, my personna is highly censored. You get the Emily I want you to get. Do I really look like my Gravatar image? Um, kinda? You will have to ask Le Clown what I really look and sound like since he’s the only blogger I’ve ever spoken to face-to-face, via Skype.
*I HATE the term “blogosphere” with unbridled ire, so I have renamed it Jonesville for lack of better terms. I am still accepting submissions for a better name, but good luck with that.
So let’s have some fun. Let’s put these personnas we’ve crafted to good use and cast Blogging: The Movie. In the comments, indicate that you’re game and we’ll nominate some celebs to play you. (Notice the “we”; I wish I could do this all on my own but I need your help! I would probably just freak out and nominate Daniel Day-Lewis for everyone.) Scan the comments and choose celebrities to play other bloggers you know. Check back on the comments later and see who we all think would make a good fit for you. I am going to enable the thumbs up/ thumbs down thingy, so if you don’t like that someone has suggested that Louie Anderson suits you to a tee, you can push thumbs down 1,000 times.
Also, feel free to fan my ego by telling me that you’ve been thinking I was Audrey Tatou the whole time. I totes don’t mind.