Ten Birthday Cakes That Will Help You Breathe Easier

So, today is my birthday. I’m pretty excited that I made it to 33, and I’m going to be celebrating with B by taking a staycation in Memphis sans C this weekend. Tomorrow, we’re going to an animal mummies exhibit.


I usually write thoughtful, pensive blog posts on my birthday. If you’d like to be inspired by my *cough* profundity, you can read them here, here, and here.

This year, I thought I would combine my appreciation for cake and those Buzzfeed posts that appeal to the perfectionist in all of us by celebrating everything that is oddly satisfying

Today, I present to you 10 birthday cakes that will help you breathe easier.

10 cakes

Let’s dig in.

1. This cake heard that your child just dumped out a bucket of Legos. It’s here to restore order in your world.

Image Source: Whisk-kid.com

Image Source: Whisk-kid.com

2. The baker of this pancake cake wants you to know that everything is going to be alright.

Image Source: Catchmyparty.com

Image Source: Catchmyparty.com

3. There was a time when the world was replete with chaos and violence. Then, this cake existed and all problems were solved.

Image Source: 3.Stylesweetca.com

Image Source: Stylesweetca.com

4. Feeling stressed? Behold the perfect edges of this cube of peace.

Image Source: 4.Cakesdecor.com

Image Source: Cakesdecor.com

5. This cake is a sugary reminder that life is worth living.

Image Source: 5.Mysweetandsaucy.com

Image Source: Mysweetandsaucy.com

6. The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse will definitely appear if anyone disturbs the precision of this bird cake.

Image Source: 6.Thecakeblog.com

Image Source: Thecakeblog.com

7. Take heart in this cake’s utter perfection, as pure as the undriven snow.

Image Source: 7.Sugaredproductions.com

Image Source: SugarEdProductions.com

8. The perfectly-symmetrical bands of this rainbow are a sign that you will make it through the storm.

Image Source: 8.Thecookieshop.wordpress.com

Image Source: Thecookieshop.wordpress.com

9.  Trust me when I say that all those polka dots are 100% uniform and perfectly equidistant from each other.

Image Source: thebakeryspot.com

Image Source: thebakeryspot.com

10. And finally, may we all come together in solidarity over the glory of this perfectly symmetrical cake.

perfect cake 10

Image Source: ruffledblog.com



  1. Happy Birthday! I hope you have (had – depending on your timezone!) an amazing day filled with fabulous cake and good times!

    Cake #9 is pretty awesome, the sheer amount of time and effect to make that look as perfect as it does is unimaginable!

    1. Thanks! And I agree with you on #9. The world might implode if anyone actually ate it.

      1. It’s almost a shame to cut into such beautiful creations. Don’t know if you’ve ever heard of a show called Cake Boss, but they make such amazing and elaborate cakes, I would just keep them!

  2. Happy birthday!! I hope you ate plenty of cake! :)

    1. I did, but none nearly as gorgeous as these.

  3. Happy Birthday!!!

  4. Happy Birthday!

  5. Happy birthday :)

    And breathe……

  6. Happy 33!!! Hope you have a great year!!!

    1. I will! Thanks.

  7. If only there was a Pop Tart cake, this list would be perfection. Happy Birthday my sweet friend!! I hope the animal mummies are all you hope them to be!!!

    1. They were fantastic! Not as awesome as a Pop-Tart cake, but we can’t all be perfect.

  8. I want a palindrome cake. Got one?

    1. I just googled “palindrome cake” and all I got was this. palindrome cake

      So I’m thinking no.

  9. Best wishes on your special day! It was my birthday this week also and I have to say, #6 would have made me pretty happy :)

    1. Happy birthday to you!

      1. Thanks! I am way older than you…so really, I deserve cake and maybe some wine also :)

  10. svlwords · · Reply

    Happy belated Birthday!!! I hope you bad a wonderful time? What cake did you pick? I hope the perfectly symmetrical one. Gosh I love cake and this has just given me a craving.. Can’t wait for my bday😥

    1. Thank you! Can I pick all of them? Not to eat, but just to look at.

      1. svlwords · · Reply

        lol, you sure can but why not have a taste of all them?

  11. Happy Birthday! It sounds like a perfect celebration to me. Just the thought of hearing the Legos spill gave me a flashback that created chills up and down my spine. I think I actually may have PTSD from Legos!

    1. Lego PTSD is definitely a thing, I’m sure of it.

      1. Considering my son is almost 20 and the thought of stepping on one still scares the crap out of me I know it’s a thing.

  12. Happy Birthday to you! I enjoy reading your blog!

    1. Awwww, thanks, Alma! Thanks for reading!

  13. LivingsTheDream · · Reply

    Yum; I could certainly scoff my way through any of those, particularly #9! Hope you had a great birthday :)

  14. I could not possibly eat any of those cakes. It is wrong to mess with perfection. The universe would indeed implode and I want no part in contributing to that!

    But I hope you had a great birthday. I’m glad the cake you did eat didn’t upset the way of celestial balance.

  15. #1 has to be my favorite, because I had to jump around a pile of legos just to get to my computer to leave this comment. No joke. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!

  16. Happy birthday!! I’m craving cake. :)

  17. Many happy returns! May today hold either oodles of cake (or pie) for your celebration. :) Personally I’m of the Hyperbole and a Half opinion that pie may be better. [wink] Just saying.

  18. Happy belated! I think I honestly did mediate my way through those cakes.

  19. That pancake cake rocks!

Now you can hold the magic talking stick.

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