So, today is my birthday. I’m pretty excited that I made it to 33, and I’m going to be celebrating with B by taking a staycation in Memphis sans C this weekend. Tomorrow, we’re going to an animal mummies exhibit.
This year, I thought I would combine my appreciation for cake and those Buzzfeed posts that appeal to the perfectionist in all of us by celebrating everything that is oddly satisfying.
Today, I present to you 10 birthday cakes that will help you breathe easier.
Let’s dig in.
1. This cake heard that your child just dumped out a bucket of Legos. It’s here to restore order in your world.
2. The baker of this pancake cake wants you to know that everything is going to be alright.
3. There was a time when the world was replete with chaos and violence. Then, this cake existed and all problems were solved.
4. Feeling stressed? Behold the perfect edges of this cube of peace.
5. This cake is a sugary reminder that life is worth living.
6. The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse will definitely appear if anyone disturbs the precision of this bird cake.
7. Take heart in this cake’s utter perfection, as pure as the undriven snow.
8. The perfectly-symmetrical bands of this rainbow are a sign that you will make it through the storm.
9. Trust me when I say that all those polka dots are 100% uniform and perfectly equidistant from each other.
10. And finally, may we all come together in solidarity over the glory of this perfectly symmetrical cake.