Postscript Poem

Little girl, I love you so,

But you’re a crawling tornado.

You’re cute – it’s true – but underneath,

You have the mind of a devious thief.

I found my brush in the soup pot.

You put it there, you sneaky tot.

What is the appeal of the commode?

And why must you destroy our abode?

You are my sweet little daughter

Who tossed her paci in cold toilet water.

You were filled with joy and elation

Whilst gnawing our wedding invitation.

You’ve made our couch your teething ring

And you demand that I constantly sing.

You are but mere flesh and bones

But I cannot leave you alone.

For if I did for just a sec

You’d find a way to raise heck.

I put you in the cutest clothes

Onto which you blow your nose.

But I forgive you. See? It’s alright

Because at least you sleep through the night.

Who? Me?

Who? Me?

65 comments

  1. Ruby Tuesday's avatar

    You really should put together a book. In all seriousness. Emily’s Little Book of Verses. Only come up with a much cleverer name for it. :)

    1. The Waiting's avatar

      Haha! That would be a lot of fun! Maybe some day ;)

  2. Ashley Austrew's avatar

    Sonia has that same shirt! And does all of the same things… lol Ahhh, babies.

    1. The Waiting's avatar

      It’s funny you say that….on more than one occasion I have seen kiddos in other blogs I follow wearing clothes that C has!

  3. Becky's avatar

    My favourite lines: “I put you in the cutest clothes/Onto which you blow your nose.” I laughed out loud :)

    1. The Waiting's avatar

      It’s so true! She has a vendetta against the really cute stuff!

  4. krugthethinker's avatar

    This is completely awesome! I think you should make it a book a la Go the F To Sleep! :)

    1. The Waiting's avatar

      Thanks! Maybe someday ;D

  5. jmlindy422's avatar

    Be glad she didn’t flush the toilet with the paci in it! We had to have the plumber here–again–because of a child (not ours, even!)–overloading the potty. Sigh.

    1. The Waiting's avatar

      You just can’t win. If it’s not your kid, then it’s someone else’s.

  6. Twindaddy's avatar

    Haha. They look so innocent, don’t they? It’s all of devious ruse.

    1. The Waiting's avatar

      They are tricky little things. The cuter they are, the more they get away with it.

      1. Twindaddy's avatar

        True. When I start counting to three when Baby C is doing something he’s not supposed to be doing, he starts counting for me. How am I supposed to punish him when he’s being cute like that? It’s not fair!

  7. Mooselicker's avatar

    Wow she turned on you real fast.

    1. The Waiting's avatar

      I was compelled to give the whole story.

  8. Mom's avatar

    C. sounds like my little Italian greyhound puppy do girl, Katherine Suzzette! However, Kate stays out of the bathroom and doesn’t make me sing to her. :)

    1. The Waiting's avatar

      You just wait. She’s going to demand you sing the Ants Go Marching any day now.

      1. TRPate's avatar

        That’s out theme song. She hums it by herself. :)

  9. The Cutter's avatar

    You nailed it with that last line. If they sleep through the night, everything else is cream cheese.

    1. The Waiting's avatar

      WORD. Sleep is baby leverage.

  10. A Gripping Life's avatar

    LOL!! I think she’s just getting warmed up!
    …could her eyes be any bigger or bluer? Good lord, Emily, she’s beautiful.

    1. The Waiting's avatar

      Hehehe thanks. Her eyes look giant in this picture! I’m glad I caught them this once.

  11. Madame Weebles's avatar

    What a sweet ode to Hurricane C!

    1. The Waiting's avatar

      That is an excellent nickname for her (she crawled up to the computer and banged the keyboard right when I first started typing this.)

  12. harperfaulkner's avatar

    Change
    You’d find a way to raise heck.
    to
    You’d find a way to raisin heck
    HF

    1. The Waiting's avatar

      I’m glad I wrote that post for the sole reason (raisin) that I’m getting so many good puns out of you.

      1. harperfaulkner's avatar

        I love how you feed me with great words and ideas! Keep it up! I can’t wait until you get to the terrible twos! HAHAHAHAHA HF

  13. Carrie's avatar

    Oh, those eyes! Those cheeks! Those mischievous hijinks! Just be glad she’s not using her own poo for wall artwork. Yet.

    1. The Waiting's avatar

      “Yet” being the operative word there. Thanks, Carrie!

  14. Brigitte's avatar

    Sweet little poochie! Are those HUGE eyes as innocent as they seem? Yet another one for Miss Cee to read, Em — your lovely words to her.

    1. The Waiting's avatar

      She is definitely workin’ it with her eyes. She is also perfecting the one eyebrow raise. Hubba Hubba ;D

  15. Max's Burger Blog's avatar
    bellissimom · · Reply

    She is beyond adorable. Way beyond!!

    1. The Waiting's avatar

      Awww. thanks. She is fun.

  16. lameadventures's avatar

    I think I enjoyed this sequel as much as Godfather II.

    1. The Waiting's avatar

      Thanks. I felt like the last one needed a follow-up just to give the whole picture.

  17. Lily's avatar

    Those baby blues! So sweet, lil C.

  18. Amy Reese's avatar

    Oh, yay, Emily, C sleeps through the night! The light at the end of tunnel has arrived!!

    1. The Waiting's avatar

      She’s always been a really good sleeper. Thus, she can get away with whatever she wants.

  19. Elaine's avatar

    Love the poem, its very clever, something that beyond me. Btw, at least she blows her nose on her own clothes, Sophia prefers to wipe everything on us, including snoot.

    1. The Waiting's avatar

      LOL I guess she’s sharing ;)

      1. Elaine's avatar

        That so wasn’t what I meant when I told her to share.

  20. Kelly's avatar

    She sleeps?! She can do no wrong.

  21. annabeguins's avatar
    runningonsober · · Reply

    Sofa as teething ring! I smell bacon, I mean, marketing opp! :) Too cute, Emily–thanks for the smile!

    1. The Waiting's avatar

      My pleasure! BTW she finally had chicken for the first time tonight so it’s only a matter of time until we move on to bacon bacon bacon BACON!

  22. Psychobabble's avatar

    *claps hands* YAY!

    1. The Waiting's avatar

      I think these poems will become somewhat regular.

      1. Psychobabble's avatar

        like, more sappy ones, or more funny ones? I need to know if I need to go buy more tissues….

  23. iRuniBreathe's avatar

    A baby who sleeps through the night will never be traded.
    You can count the days like Cheerios.

    1. The Waiting's avatar

      Hehehe you sure can ;) She’s a keeper.

  24. lazylauramaisey's avatar

    I constantly sing anyway. Ergo, I am more than equipped to deal with a child. All the other stuff you mention only happens once a month.. right?….

    1. The Waiting's avatar

      Oh definitely. She usually makes me dinner too.

      1. lazylauramaisey's avatar

        Brilliant. Can I borrow her?

  25. nevercontrary's avatar

    Woah I think she grew a ton between poems. Is that possible?

    1. The Waiting's avatar

      I totally wouldn’t be surprised. She grows like a mofo.

  26. Cakes and Shakes...'s avatar

    Too cute :-) I also love it when they come to give you a hug and blow their nose on *your* cute clothes, the devious so-and-sos!

    1. The Waiting's avatar

      They are adorable and totally gross.

  27. Sandee's avatar

    How did I miss this! Geez! I hope you show this to C when she’s old enough — love it!

    1. The Waiting's avatar

      Oh. you know I will. Parents are experts at leverage.

  28. Kylie's avatar

    You’re absolutely right. If she sleeps through the night, everything else is a very fair trade-off!!

    1. The Waiting's avatar

      I know, right?! As far as I’m concerned, I’d rather her sleep than go to an Ivy League school.

      1. Kylie's avatar

        My son started sleeping through the night-finally-at 15 months. And then stopped at 22 months. He’s 27 months now, and regularly gets up twice a night. Oh.My.God.

  29. The Hook's avatar

    Beautiful, Emily.
    Just beautiful.

  30. Vyvacious's avatar

    Cutie patootie!!

Now you can hold the magic talking stick.