Wherein I Reveal One of Humanity’s Most-Guarded Secrets

Have you ever had one of those moments when you realize that all the events in your life have lined up just so that the world can reveal one of its hiddenmost secrets to you?

I had one of those today. Please make sure you’re sitting down for the duration of this post because I am about to blow.your.mind.

The scene: I am sitting in my office working on a multi-faceted project with my coworkers and my manager. It’s a pretty involved project and we’ve all retreated to our respective creative zones getting our work finalized before a tight (read: already passed) deadline.

So obviously since we’re all insanely focused on completing our tasks, I start talking about how I’m blogging everyday in November. This is just critical information that needs to be shared posthaste.

Capitalizing on the creative aerobics that everyone was already participating in at the moment, I asked my colleagues if they had any ideas of things I should write about. And this is the part when the miraculous architecture of the world started to make itself apparent. My boss suggested that I write about the glory of sitcom theme songs of the ’90s.

Now, this may seem like a trifle, but I urge you to take a moment to acknowledge that a., I am #blessed enough to work for someone who does not chastise me for discussing something as vapid as blogging when we’re all under the gun to get very pressing work done, and b., that society cannot be all bad if it has placed in an authority position an individual who recognizes the glory that is the theme song to The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

So much obvious glory.

So I left the office today charged with the task of writing about the lost art of sitcom theme songs. Challenge accepted, Universe.

Committed to the challenge, I sat down to refresh my own memory on the virtual cornucopia of excellence that was the 90’s Sitcom Theme Song. With the help of YouTube, I savored the joy that is “I’ll Be There for You”, the Rembrandt’s ode to everlasting Friends-ship. I took on the mantel of Joe Cocker himself as I listened to the crackly goodness that is The Wonder Years’ “I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends.” After nearly 20 years, my ears were reunited with the melodious glory of the theme song to Sister, Sister. Sweet theme song, I never knew how much I missed ya.

It was only when I started listening to the theme songs from ABC’s 90’s Friday night block – TGIF – that the plot thickened.

This was no longer a trip down memory lane.

It was a meeting with the Illuminati.

As I reviewed the theme song to Full House (because I totally don’t already watch it all weekend long and tell C that watching TV in four-hour stretches is absolutely OK as long as there are at least five Bullwinkle impressions delivered by a square-headed Canadian comedian. Shut up.), I took note of the nuanced vocal delivery of the singer of “Everywhere You Look.” It has that certain je ne sais quoi of having a slight film of phlegm on the back of one’s throat, but still feeling well enough to sing about the completely normal scenario that is a family of ten living in a small home on San Francisco’s Nob Hill and running an all-ages rock n’ roll club by the name of Smash.

You know it when you hear it.

That’s why I was so surprised when I listened to the theme song to Family Matters. I know I warned you before that you needed to be sitting down for this one, but I am going to urge you once again to find something to steady yourself on.

Friends, the exact same person who sang the Full House theme song appears to have lent his vocal talents to Family Matters. And we never even noticed.

We can all go home now, for I have cracked the code.

NaEmPoMo resize

26 comments

  1. Mind. Blown.

    And now I’m taking a trip down Memory Lane. Thanks.

    1. Memory Lane is the best. It smells like a bonfire and s’mores ;D

  2. How did this information get past me???? Because I totally spent every Friday night watching those two shows. I mean, it only makes sense. Urkel did do a guest appearance on Full House, so of course it must have been incestuous from the very beginning. I bet the same writer who came up with the gem tag lines, “Cut.It.Out” and “How rude!” and “Have Mercy!” and “You got it, dude” was also the mastermind behind “Did I do that?”

    Let me just tell you that if I wasn’t already ecstatic you were back, this would have done it. I needed something trivial to philosophize about now that someone already cracked the code about how Frozen, Rapunzel and Little Mermaid are all intertwined.

    And p.s. for your viewing pleasure: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oiljoS4ChOk

    1. I have no idea how this got past me either since I spent every Friday night of the 90’s in front of the TV watching TGIF. I guess all the Little Caesar’s pizza and Hawaiian Punch I binged during this Friday night ritual had a mind-altering affect on me.

      Thanks for that video. ;D

      1. Ha! They just nred the Beach Boys playing Kokomo in the living room. It would be the tsunami of all guest spots with Urkel AND Brian Wilson

  3. “Full House” and “Fresh Prince of Bel-Air” – along with “Sabrina the Teenage Witch” – are the best sitcoms ever made. :-) Thanks for this lovely reminder!

    1. My pleasure ;D

  4. Also Perfect Strangers and Step by Step. Craziness.

    1. MY BRAIN IS EXPLODING.

  5. He also did Perfect Strangers and Step by Step. Craziness.

  6. I had been trying to forget about these shows and here you are, revealing their secrets.

    1. You’re welcome.

  7. mind = blown ….

    1. I’m dropping truth bombs all over the place.

  8. I was so watching these shows right along with you! I recently found a Dinosaurs tv series VHS tape for my 5 year old son. He couldn’t get into it. I love him anyway.

    1. We can’t all be perfect. I’m trying to get my daughter to get in to Gumby cartoons but it’s a hard sell.

  9. I was just telling my husband about your post over dinner, and I was forced to sing all these theme songs because we have a rule that there’s no electronics at the dinner table.
    Good times.

    1. Someone in the comments above said that the same guy sang the Step By Step theme song, so you should add that to your evening repertory.

      1. Already sang it.

  10. and PS) did you happen to notice that the theme song to Family Guy is virtually the same as All In The Family? Did you??? Oh… um… yeah… well, maybe that was the point? Ok, carry on.

Now you can hold the magic talking stick.

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