Have you ever had one of those moments when you realize that all the events in your life have lined up just so that the world can reveal one of its hiddenmost secrets to you?
I had one of those today. Please make sure you’re sitting down for the duration of this post because I am about to blow.your.mind.
The scene: I am sitting in my office working on a multi-faceted project with my coworkers and my manager. It’s a pretty involved project and we’ve all retreated to our respective creative zones getting our work finalized before a tight (read: already passed) deadline.
So obviously since we’re all insanely focused on completing our tasks, I start talking about how I’m blogging everyday in November. This is just critical information that needs to be shared posthaste.
Capitalizing on the creative aerobics that everyone was already participating in at the moment, I asked my colleagues if they had any ideas of things I should write about. And this is the part when the miraculous architecture of the world started to make itself apparent. My boss suggested that I write about the glory of sitcom theme songs of the ’90s.
Now, this may seem like a trifle, but I urge you to take a moment to acknowledge that a., I am #blessed enough to work for someone who does not chastise me for discussing something as vapid as blogging when we’re all under the gun to get very pressing work done, and b., that society cannot be all bad if it has placed in an authority position an individual who recognizes the glory that is the theme song to The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.
So I left the office today charged with the task of writing about the lost art of sitcom theme songs. Challenge accepted, Universe.
Committed to the challenge, I sat down to refresh my own memory on the virtual cornucopia of excellence that was the 90’s Sitcom Theme Song. With the help of YouTube, I savored the joy that is “I’ll Be There for You”, the Rembrandt’s ode to everlasting Friends-ship. I took on the mantel of Joe Cocker himself as I listened to the crackly goodness that is The Wonder Years’ “I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends.” After nearly 20 years, my ears were reunited with the melodious glory of the theme song to Sister, Sister. Sweet theme song, I never knew how much I missed ya.
It was only when I started listening to the theme songs from ABC’s 90’s Friday night block – TGIF – that the plot thickened.
This was no longer a trip down memory lane.
It was a meeting with the Illuminati.
As I reviewed the theme song to Full House (because I totally don’t already watch it all weekend long and tell C that watching TV in four-hour stretches is absolutely OK as long as there are at least five Bullwinkle impressions delivered by a square-headed Canadian comedian. Shut up.), I took note of the nuanced vocal delivery of the singer of “Everywhere You Look.” It has that certain je ne sais quoi of having a slight film of phlegm on the back of one’s throat, but still feeling well enough to sing about the completely normal scenario that is a family of ten living in a small home on San Francisco’s Nob Hill and running an all-ages rock n’ roll club by the name of Smash.
You know it when you hear it.
That’s why I was so surprised when I listened to the theme song to Family Matters. I know I warned you before that you needed to be sitting down for this one, but I am going to urge you once again to find something to steady yourself on.
Friends, the exact same person who sang the Full House theme song appears to have lent his vocal talents to Family Matters. And we never even noticed.
We can all go home now, for I have cracked the code.